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Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

0 posted 2001-03-23 06:58 AM

I spill my mind upon your floor
as you watch in fascination
the pieces fall
and you chose them one by one
study them and
remark on their sharp edges or
bleeding colors
slowly rebuilding them into
proper form
placed carefully together again
and I walk out
slowly,
as not to slip and break this fragile mold of
the new me

"When people show you who they are, believe them"

~Maya Angelou~

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

1 posted 2001-03-23 07:46 AM

I very much like the way this is written. Very much indeed.

Thanks for the read.

K

PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

2 posted 2001-03-23 09:44 AM

You sure you're not my twin? Its like you wrote from my mind, I can relate very much.

Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

3 posted 2001-03-23 10:38 AM

Thank you, Severn!

Poetic Knight - For your sake I hope not, cause if so, we're a mess!

LOL

"Often the test of courage is not to die but to live"

~Vittorio Alferi~

PoeticKnight
Senior Member

since 2000-01-20

Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

4 posted 2001-03-23 10:49 AM

There's probably good odds that at least I am. *S*

bslicker

Member Elite

since 2000-12-04

Posts 2321
state of mind

5 posted 2001-03-23 10:54 AM

Sometimes that is what it takes, to become a new person to yourself.......
Great write

Bernie
A

a day keeps the world

'G

Bernie Slicker

Irish Rose
Member Patricius

since 2000-04-06

Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-03-23 11:41 AM

It can be a friightening thing to make oneself over!

Enjoyed this very much.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

7 posted 2001-03-23 01:05 PM

that's why it's always good to have something strong to hold it together. . . like friendship or love. . . or healing. . .

I really like this one. . . I feel that we all can relate. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-03-23 07:25 PM

I spill my mind upon your floor
as you watch in fascination
the pieces fall
and you chose them one by one
study them and
remark on their sharp edges or
bleeding colors
===========================
and I walk out
slowly,
as not to slip and break this fragile mold of
the new me
======================

Oh I love this...
the imagery and the superbly done employ of metaphor.
this is a very cool write
not just a woman ... a poet too

very well done poetess.

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

9 posted 2001-03-24 02:59 AM

Yes, fantastic and intelligent write, indeed!
Love this!

sp

to be with you...
I've tried to hide my passion,
but it's just no use...
piece by piece I lose it
when you walk into the room...

Passions Voice
Member

since 2000-10-23

Posts 291
Michigan

10 posted 2001-04-30 06:34 PM

I'm glad that I went back a ways to find this one. Looks like we're all making ourselves over.

Good poem.

passion is life. . . ~Diana

RMW
Senior Member

since 2001-03-21

Posts 1424

11 posted 2001-04-30 06:43 PM

Carefully put. Bob

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

12 posted 2001-05-01 09:59 AM

This is outstanding! enjoyed much!

*hugs*
~Tier

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