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Open Poetry #13
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-03-22 05:40 PM


You are as a tree swaying in the breeze
Fragile as you brave the storm
For hopes not in vain you send your pleas
And pray not to come to harm
Dangers everywhere, and everything you do
Becomes a testament to see yourself through
You’ll pay to lay down in the fires
For just a chance to shout out your desires

And so as the tree tries to kiss the sun,
You secretly wait for coming of night
Where all the truths are allowed to run
Standing on your own like a lady in white
In common gardens you plant yourself
Taking care with words of stealth
Believing not in fading to forgotten sawdust
For in someone’s mind you are gorgeous


© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
1 posted 2001-03-22 05:46 PM


Why Sir Knight...what a most delightful write....
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-03-22 06:29 PM


You are as a tree swaying in the breeze
Fragile as you brave the storm
For hopes not in vain you send your pleas
And pray not to come to harm
Dangers everywhere, and everything you do
Becomes a testament to see yourself through
You’ll pay to lay down in the fires
For just a chance to shout out your desires

And so as the tree tries to kiss the sun,
You secretly wait for coming of night
Where all the truths are allowed to run
Standing on your own like a lady in white
============================
Believing not in fading to forgotten sawdust
For in someone’s mind you are gorgeous
============================

my oh my ... what a wonderful poetic sigh.
hard to choose what I like most about this ..
definately the cadence ...
and for sure the imagery ...
then the admire of the inspire...the way you've written her so delicately..
yet subtley showing her inner strength and allure ...
and all these poetic thoughts are cleverly brought to completion with the consistant use of metaphor with the tree.
(sawdust?) waaaay cool

in someones mind....youre a poet *S*
well done PK.

oh you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2001-03-22 07:13 PM


PK~ wow......just........wow..........oh and *sigh* SEA
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2001-03-22 07:57 PM


I do like the line about the tree trying to kiss the sun....I think I wrote once a line about the naked limbs scratching the sky....

what imagery!

Wonderful lines....

Just A Woman
Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507

5 posted 2001-03-22 08:29 PM


Beautiful, insightful, and so tenderly written. I am saving this to read many times through. My favorite of yours......as of today anyway.

"When people show you who they are, believe them"

~Maya Angelou~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2001-03-22 11:47 PM


And so as the tree tries to kiss the sun,
You secretly wait for coming of night
Where all the truths are allowed to run


very lovely words, PK...always with class..are your poems

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
7 posted 2001-03-23 09:04 AM


Thank you all for such lovely replies, that have touched me more than you know.
Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
Tennessee
8 posted 2001-03-23 05:28 PM


Ah, good stuff, dear Knight..Keep 'em comin'.

Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
9 posted 2001-03-23 05:36 PM


PK your imagery is amazing. I loved it, very touching and beautiful peice.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

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