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Passions in Poetry

Only Mike

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PointlesS
Junior Member
since 07-27-2003
Posts 21
Oconomowoc, Wisconsin


0 posted 09-20-2003 02:09 AM       View Profile for PointlesS   Email PointlesS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PointlesS

Caught up in life, without a friend
He chose to do it, put his life to an end
So much potential he could've done well
But now he's dead and probably in hell

We ignored his cries of pain
No one cared, it drove him insane
No one else, but himself to blame
He ended it all, to get away from shame

A bright future is what lied ahead
But he thought otherwise and wanted to be dead
A smart kid is what I recall
It's a shame he never talked at all

So short he was compared to most
So quiet he was just a ghost
Never again will we hear him speak
Even though he talked once a week

Who was this person and why did he do it?
You should know, but you won't admit
A knife he chose, his neck, he stike
You always ignored him, it was only Mike
© Copyright 2003 Patrick Conway - All Rights Reserved
SharaRose
Member Elite
since 07-19-2003
Posts 2535
Somewhere out there~


1 posted 09-20-2003 11:28 AM       View Profile for SharaRose   Email SharaRose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SharaRose

This makes me think of a young man here in our apts. He weighs about 450 pounds or more and no one talks to him. I always speak to him in the laundry room and try to strike up a conversation, but he never speaks. Breaks my heart to see his life dwindle away at such a young age. I hear he's about 22, or 23 years old and has such a long life ahead of him if he could only believe in himself. I always try to talk to him, but he has never spoken yet.
SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


2 posted 09-20-2003 01:06 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Sadly, this happens all too frequently, and we are all left asking WHY? and most of the time, we cannot find an answer that makes any sense.
And we can never ask after the fact.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


3 posted 09-20-2003 06:42 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Patrick . . . an important message indeed
too many people are lost before they are found
Nice writing
xxoo
gpc
Junior Member
since 03-01-2003
Posts 47


4 posted 09-21-2003 06:23 AM       View Profile for gpc   Email gpc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gpc

I identify with what you're trying to do here but to me the whole poem came across as a self-parody. The stanza ...

Caught up in life, without a friend
He chose to do it, put his life to an end
So much potential he could've done well
But now he's dead and probably in hell

... just struck me as hilarious not serious. The rhyme just seems to add a humorous twist to the poem.
 
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