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Passions in Poetry

Fish Tank (By Night)

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gpc
Junior Member
since 03-01-2003
Posts 47


0 posted 09-19-2003 05:51 PM       View Profile for gpc   Email gpc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gpc

Fish Tank (By Night)

Soak in the buzzing warm glow,
from excess electricity criss-crossing to the temples.
From floating fish in cream coloured cages,
trapped with one view.
Keeping an eye,
on who's stealing Post-It notes.

The pavement throbs to the sound,
of a thousand feet that aren't there.
Heading south, north,
anywhere but here.
Their only mark,
a worn instep in suburbia.

The empty feeling of black side streets,
punctuated by the shallow place names,
interrupted by artificial angel light.
An abandoned broadsheet,
falls to the gutter with distant memory,
distainful lyrics without music.

The polarity of these magnetic buildings,
reverses as tube trains grind to a halt,
scared in a darkened tunnel, stationary.
Those less fortunate find salvation,
in the opulance of these chrome giants,
the fragility of glass, an irony not lost.

As day falls the free close their tired eyes,
turning them to the sun that lights the buildings,
so they can imagine their dirt.
The fish know it's feeding time soon,
but they look no more excited,
they all look the same in their differences.

Sweaty suits slide past shady holes,
that hole is their home.
they are receeding now, tricking you.
You think you're the king of the jungle.
But what are you?
No more than they, less even, a fish.
All looking the same in your differences,
all floating in cream coloured cages,
all keeping an eye,
on who's stealing Post-It notes.

[This message has been edited by gpc (09-20-2003 02:15 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 gpc - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


1 posted 09-20-2003 03:10 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Oh My God - this is brilliant . . .

Keeping an eye,
on who's stealing Post-It notes.

adore it, refreshing actually
and the artificial angel light . . .
your metaphors are astounding gp . . .
and yes, sometimes I do feel that
the ones who remove themselves from
"life"  are truly the lucky ones
Beautiful writing
xxoo
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 06-26-2003
Posts 1937
New Caney, Tx


2 posted 09-20-2003 04:43 PM       View Profile for green_itchy_stuff   Email green_itchy_stuff   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for green_itchy_stuff

Nice write.  

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 09-20-2003 10:39 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

loved the metaphor...

all that activity going nowhere.

And the use of fishtank gives a meditative distance to the observation of this world, more tranquil from a distance than from within I fear.

Excellent write, and interesting technique.

I hope to read more from you soon.
Insomniac Cat
Member
since 09-23-2003
Posts 70
The Land of the Dadaists


4 posted 09-23-2003 12:08 PM       View Profile for Insomniac Cat   Email Insomniac Cat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Insomniac Cat

I like it because it's surreal. Leaves a lot to the imagination.
 
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