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Dark Poetry #3
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-09-19 01:18 AM


It doesn't matter if my laugh
mocks you
creeping inbetween
the fingers you have
clasped on ears
the taunting
of your bottled
beer
the way
she always
went away
the way
she sometimes
re-appeared
opening the curtains
laughing
"Damn, but it is dusty here!"

"See what happens when I go?"
She turned to Dad
and Daddy smiled
there was life
before his eyes
red hair flaming
(no surprise)
He smiled and said,
"I named you blaze."

and now I fear you think the same.


It doesn't matter if my laugh
mocks you
creeping inbetween
the fingers you have
clasped on ears
the taunting
of your bottled
beer


© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
1 posted 2003-09-19 01:23 AM


i can feel the anger...makes me want to take a step back..lol...nice write

"For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible."

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-09-19 09:28 AM



*ducking*



Bet you feel better now!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
3 posted 2003-09-19 12:09 PM


nice dusting of the cobwebs K
please do this more often . . .
Love you Lady . . .
xxoo

QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
4 posted 2003-09-19 08:23 PM


you sure expressed this well,,,

                                    

Mad_Hatter
Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
Canada
5 posted 2003-09-19 09:04 PM


Very well written.  You gave alot of life to this poem...I really enjoyed it.
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
6 posted 2003-09-20 04:45 PM


Blazing serenity blaze with a rage.  Nice write.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2003-09-21 12:26 PM



"She turned to Dad
and Daddy smiled
there was life
before his eyes
red hair flaming
(no surprise)
He smiled and said,
"I named you blaze."

and now I fear you think the same.


It doesn't matter if my laugh
mocks you
creeping inbetween
the fingers you have
clasped on ears
the taunting
of your bottled
beer"


Just...wow...this took me on a ride of emotions.
Very cool stuff, you...I'm with Sue...more please? smile

Love you, lady...

When the power of love overcomes the
love of power the world will know peace.
-Jimi Hendrix

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
8 posted 2003-09-21 01:39 AM


I named you Starr...
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2003-09-24 03:16 AM


"Dark Starr" Reb?

smiles and gratitude to all for reading. And right now, I'm just trying to return the favor...

Enjoying the words of YOU ALL.

mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

10 posted 2003-09-27 10:05 PM


Nice poetry here blaze. Well written.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

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