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Dark Poetry #3
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Tears
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Tears |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
I am crying inside I am dying inside on my face you cannot see unless you really look into me my heart is torn for much i mourn life to me is not very real yet it takes all i have to heal you see me smile but my eyes scream out in pain as the depression sinks deeper deeper still does it really take so long for you to see that i am weeping inside I cannot sleep at night for when I sleep my dreams are haunting and when I wake it is even worse please, I beg you to just look closer my heart cries blood drop tears my soul is on the brink of death and my mind screams for peace can you not hear the wrenching cries can you not feel my stabbing pain or see the anguish in my eyes are you blind or do you not care that I am crying inside I am dying Inside and my soul cries out in dispair I want you to see me as I really am I want you to help me find peace again please |
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| © Copyright 2003 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Bonnie ? Need I say, I completely understand this?  I am here too xxoo |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
lol, i think you clearly already have, in "Hour of Darkness"...i mean, i don't think i've seen any poems here so far that i have understood more than that one. so i guess we're here for each other. grooovy =) "The Red, it filters through" - Chevelle |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
you have a really nice style, i liked it better when you got away from the rhyme scheme and got into free verse. i am not an expert myself, and i don't know how much experiance as a poet, but this is my advice...beginner poets should stick wiht free verse so you can develop you own sense of style, you own voice, then get into structured poetry...that is just my take on it everyone has ther own way...mine is by no means right...just some advice "For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible." |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
yeah, thanx =) i've gotten a lot of hints in the critique (sorry, i think my spelling is bad?) department that i don't rhyme very well, or that it seems forced, so i'm kinda guessing that i should stick with free verse for awhile and develope that other thing later. thank you for pointing that out, it really helps a lot=). "The Red, it filters through" - Chevelle |
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