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Passions in Poetry

Baited

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Jaime
Unregistered


Somewhere out there~


0 posted 09-17-2003 11:19 PM       Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Jaime

Time bending.
the solar quake
sudden and
apathetic

my vision

Mutation of
shark. I've
tasted too much
Looming in
the blue
darkness

I blend
into and become
part of

this habitat

Sometimes
silver sometimes
red. The
skeletons
left in my
teeth like
pulp

I've swallowed
too much

091703

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 06-26-2003
Posts 1937
New Caney, Tx


1 posted 09-18-2003 12:50 AM       View Profile for green_itchy_stuff   Email green_itchy_stuff   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for green_itchy_stuff

I like.  It sounds "dead" figuretivly speaking.  Nice write.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

eor
Senior Member
since 09-26-2002
Posts 968
blues & greys


2 posted 09-18-2003 01:52 AM       View Profile for eor   Email eor   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for eor

camoflauging...nice write

"For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible."

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


3 posted 09-18-2003 08:17 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

you've got me hooked!

Always a great write from you Jaime

Maree.
River
Senior Member
since 09-16-2003
Posts 623
my own little world


4 posted 09-18-2003 08:29 PM       View Profile for River   Email River   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for River

i think this, as all of the poems i've seen of yours, is very very good. great Job! =) rok on chica!!!

"The Red, it filters through" - Chevelle

Insomniac Cat
Member
since 09-23-2003
Posts 70
The Land of the Dadaists


5 posted 09-23-2003 12:19 PM       View Profile for Insomniac Cat   Email Insomniac Cat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Insomniac Cat

Nice. I like poems that make me muse on them.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


6 posted 09-24-2003 05:20 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Jaime:

awesome writing
loved the whole thing

and here:

Sometimes
silver sometimes
red. The
skeletons
left in my
teeth like
pulp

nice metaphors
xxoo
cusick
Senior Member
since 07-27-2003
Posts 673


7 posted 09-27-2003 10:50 AM       View Profile for cusick   Email cusick   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cusick

The imagery you portray is so descriptive. A very good read. Maggie
Mad_Hatter
Member
since 06-29-2003
Posts 397
Canada


8 posted 09-27-2003 04:44 PM       View Profile for Mad_Hatter   Email Mad_Hatter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mad_Hatter

I agree with everything everyone has said by my favorite lines are "sometimes silver, sometimes red".  Beatifully done.
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