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Dark Poetry #3

A little help, please....

Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

0 posted 2003-09-16 01:34 PM

I wrote this poem a long time ago, on my old computer. And, right after I typed it, the computer died. When I booted it back up, there was nothing left, so I quickly wrote by hand all the lines I could remember, but they were all mixed up and some of them were missing entirely.
I've finally fixed most of the confusion, but there is one line that never came back to me. Now I'm asking your help to fill in that void. If you have any ideas for what to put in the blank line, please suggest them.
~*~*~

Black and blue eyes
What a pretty disguise
I'll paint the chivalry
you hide behind
I'll write the poetry
black and white lines
Bleed for us both
in a crimson design
I'll break the spirit
You drain the soul
I'll drink the tears
and you dig the hole
I'll drop the ashes
You hold the light
Fade to grey slowly
in the black midnight
I'm the pollutant
innocence lost

cold crystal frost
I'm disillusioned
You saw me fall
Rainbow's reflection
colors dissolved

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

1 posted 2003-09-17 02:45 AM

maybe "the world is covered in" or "my heart is covered in" or "my heart stings liek a"
a like the poem! good luck with finding the line that fits.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

2 posted 2003-09-17 10:05 AM

Nah. I don't think I want the word "heart" on that line. Thank you for your comment. Maybe I'll find a different way to phrase that. I dunno...

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Maddy vanD
Member

since 2003-09-06

Posts 99
Newfoundland, Canada

3 posted 2003-09-17 10:29 PM

"chilhood rimed in"??????

Maddy
Poetry is not pretty....poetry is real

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

4 posted 2003-09-18 01:58 AM

"at any cost"

"For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible."

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