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Passions in Poetry

Broken Cinders

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teenpoet
Member
since 10-17-2001
Posts 287
Michigan


0 posted 09-11-2003 10:44 AM       View Profile for teenpoet   Email teenpoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for teenpoet

A broken heart and broken thought
broken children and broken bought
I don't know what''s wrong with me
do you?
I don't know what to do
what do you do?
how do I rise above this indomitable depression
my thoughts are lonely and mind confused
oh if only I could find you
you
who are you?
from whence do you come
why haven't you come for me
I'm still alone
lonely as the majestic oak
hundreds of years old and surrounded
by housing settlements and cements
nothing alive nearby
and children climb thy limbs and leave thee to thy pain
oh if only I could find you
oh if only I weren't so afraid
broken peices floating round
that one's me and that one's thou
I am alone and yet surrounded
by empty death and deadly tears
where are you now?

Let go of your concept of reality and try mine for a while...then we'll see how long you last.

© Copyright 2003 Alicia Adams - All Rights Reserved
serametheicebound
New Member
since 09-04-2003
Posts 8
South Africa-Free State


1 posted 09-11-2003 12:01 PM       View Profile for serametheicebound   Email serametheicebound   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serametheicebound

This is tight.I love yo signature as well.Keep on writing U inpire me.

The Conquest Is My Daily Testament

Mor-Estal Landis
Junior Member
since 09-03-2003
Posts 11
Luca, Ventoren


2 posted 09-11-2003 01:18 PM       View Profile for Mor-Estal Landis   Email Mor-Estal Landis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mor-Estal Landis

That was awesome BP, You need to write out and keep more of your stuff though. I love writing your works, and from now on yo ucan read one of mine for every one of yours I read.

Mor-Estal Landis, The Dark Star
"...Shadowed by Darkness, and Stalked by Despair..."

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


3 posted 09-12-2003 02:02 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Alicia - beautiful right here excellent:

lonely as the majestic oak
hundreds of years old and surrounded
by housing settlements and cements
nothing alive nearby
and children climb thy limbs and leave thee to thy pain

just perfect
xxoo
blackhalo
Member
since 02-15-2000
Posts 467
Denver, CO


4 posted 09-14-2003 01:00 AM       View Profile for blackhalo   Email blackhalo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit blackhalo's Home Page   View IP for blackhalo

"broken peices floating round
that one's me and that one's thou
I am alone and yet surrounded
by empty death and deadly tears"

Whoa...  Just....  whoa.....  

I feel like you are inside my mind with this piece, it's almost scary, in a good way.  :p  I'm sorry I haven't e-mailed you back yet, I've been working like you would not believe.  

I love the way this piece was phrased, it flowed so well, and had a subject matter that seems fresh, though penned for years and years.  I really enjoyed this and am adding it to my library.

~Alicia
blackhalo
Member
since 02-15-2000
Posts 467
Denver, CO


5 posted 09-14-2003 01:00 AM       View Profile for blackhalo   Email blackhalo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit blackhalo's Home Page   View IP for blackhalo

It might help if I actually clicked the button though, huh?  :p
mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 02-28-2003
Posts 894


6 posted 09-14-2003 09:58 PM       View Profile for mysticpoe   Email mysticpoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mysticpoe

I enjoyed the imagery here. Nice write.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

teenpoet
Member
since 10-17-2001
Posts 287
Michigan


7 posted 09-16-2003 10:23 AM       View Profile for teenpoet   Email teenpoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for teenpoet

Thanx all for replying

Let go of your concept of reality and try mine for a while...then we'll see how long you last.

 
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