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Dark Poetry #3

can't see past....

Lady Godiva
Junior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 35
at the bottom of your glass

0 posted 2003-09-04 05:34 PM

I don't
know whether
it's because
I'm down to my
last cigerette
or the fact
that I don't smoke
that makes
me focus
all my strength
on every
last rain drop
that seems
to downpour
on my thoughts
I've fallen
off my horse
too many times
slipped
on mud
face first
when
I let
the time
catch up with me
I can
usually shrug it off
but
how did I get here
It hits me
right betwixt the eyes
how I could have
let time
just pass me by
I was
not borne bitter
love has
made me this way
or maybe
lack thereof
my naked
vulnerabilty
struck
to the bone
with a cold sense of negativity
that somehow became my reality
as I gaze deeply
into nothing
I can't see
past
the butt of my last cigerette...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

1 posted 2003-09-04 05:53 PM

Powerful words that push you from the beginning through the threads of the closing, leaving you with knowledge and rainwater in your eyes.

Or maybe that's just me.

.m.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2003-09-04 08:51 PM

there was skin and bones. This poem was purely human. Iloved it. Your words flowed in a interesting way, creative, original. great poem.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

3 posted 2003-09-04 10:59 PM

Lady . . you are brilliant!
(put those smokes away!)

loved this line:
*shaking head*

I've fallen
off my horse
too many times
slipped
on mud
face first
when
I let
the time
catch up with me

Welcome to the Dark . . .
*smile*

Check your email for a greeting from all of us . . .
xxoo

Rosebud1229
Senior Member

since 2000-04-05

Posts 1813
North Carolina

4 posted 2003-09-04 11:14 PM

Lady Godiva, very good write, your so right sometimes it's so hard to see the right perspective or is there such a thing?

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

5 posted 2003-09-05 08:11 AM

Very powerful images, enjoyed the read. Maggie

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