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Passions in Poetry

Plastic People

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Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 02-19-2003
Posts 618
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada


0 posted 08-25-2003 09:34 PM       View Profile for Tequilia_Sunrise   Email Tequilia_Sunrise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Tequilia_Sunrise



Plastic People
Live next door
They are your friends
That you assume you know
Thet speak with plastic lips
And lie with plastic tounges
Their plastic mask
Covers their plastic face
That we shall never see
A plastic brain
In a plastic skull
Is put to use only to cunjugate themselves
Dont worry thought
Their plastic is sure to soon decay
And all the plastic people will fade
Leaving only their plastic bodies
To pollute our earth
As they did before they left


© Copyright 2003 Amanda Seymour - All Rights Reserved
mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 02-28-2003
Posts 894


1 posted 08-25-2003 09:50 PM       View Profile for mysticpoe   Email mysticpoe   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mysticpoe

This really good, God, I enjoyed this. This goes back, but never seems to go out of style. Nice job.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


2 posted 08-25-2003 10:16 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

Amanda, yes well I have just done a bit of "recycling" myself LOL
nice write
xxoo
SharaRose
Member Elite
since 07-19-2003
Posts 2535
Somewhere out there~


3 posted 08-25-2003 10:39 PM       View Profile for SharaRose   Email SharaRose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SharaRose

Wow does this ever take me back. When I was 16 I told my mother all these people were plastic people, and I will never forget the look on her face. She looked at me in surprise and said yeah you are right. Kind of monumental for her, and I. Thanks for bringing back the memories.

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Mad_Hatter
Member
since 06-29-2003
Posts 397
Canada


4 posted 08-25-2003 10:46 PM       View Profile for Mad_Hatter   Email Mad_Hatter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mad_Hatter

OH wow, this poem is amazing.  The plastic people.  I don't know how many times I have felt like all these people around me were just plastic, carbon copies of eachother.  Wonderful write.
somethinginyoursocks
Junior Member
since 03-27-2003
Posts 29
IN, the U.S. of A.


5 posted 08-25-2003 11:08 PM       View Profile for somethinginyoursocks   Email somethinginyoursocks   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for somethinginyoursocks

Yes, very interesting write.  Even though the subject matter was trite, it still kept my attention.  Kudos for you!
The trick about writing trite subjects and cliches is to write it in a new way.  The fact that you made the word "plastic" repetitive made it sound more interesting and meaningful.  Next, if I were you, I'd play around with the imagery and texture.  Try to describe how the plastic sounds (call it a plastic sound?) or how it feels (maybe go off-subject a bit and say wax?) and how little movement actual plastic figures have, which allows you to show how constructed the plastic people are.  These are just a few suggestions because you really have some potential in the way you write!

-I don't need a signature-

Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 02-19-2003
Posts 618
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada


6 posted 07-05-2004 02:39 AM       View Profile for Tequilia_Sunrise   Email Tequilia_Sunrise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tequilia_Sunrise

thankx everyone for your lovely comments
 
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