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Dark Poetry #3
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green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

0 posted 2003-08-05 10:21 PM



What I see that has always been
Swells, condemned
A hate-like nature with foreign pride
Mischef filtered grin stretched
Across the apathetic paleness

A small dot in the expanse of sarcasm
A glitch in the thought process

The point of suffacation in the midst of pleasure
Hold back nothing except a pumping heart
In a race with reality
A failure and explosion that confirms consciousness
By stripping every once of strength, diginity, etc.
Comfort at this reallization
Paces and falls into the toilet

Just do something new
Relax
Its fine ok slumber and sweet dreams

Push and tick
Drop and flick
Rough and slick
Forever and real
Touch and feel

Just say NO
And let it go

Freedom weakened rage
Simple
Liberate
No more the cage

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

© Copyright 2003 Kenneth Craig Rogers - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2003-08-05 11:22 PM


This feels a bit diffrent for you. I like the length, its a bit longer. Left my mouth a little full, I'm still try to force all the the material down. It tastes good though. I liked this line: Across the apathetic paleness. I didn't like how you said ect. at the 5 line in the 3 stanza. It detracted. All in all I enjoyed this piece.

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
2 posted 2003-08-06 12:39 PM


"A small dot in the expanse of sarcasm
A glitch in the thought process"

i like how you have been showing different styles, nice wrtite keep it up...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
3 posted 2003-08-06 03:26 AM


Lexy the paleness thing is about a saddened face and the other is about crap seems so thick that the entire world seems just artificial and the only thing that lets you know that its real is the fact that it keeps getting worse.... to the point you just puke.
Thanx for the compliments.  Posting here just keeps getting better and better.


Thanx eor, I guess Im experimenting a lil bit right now, and who knows, it could turn out to be my style when its finished, which it wont be but still.  Sorry about the run on sentence.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
4 posted 2003-08-06 02:03 PM


i miss read lexy, thanx for the advise.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2003-08-06 02:04 PM


"Push and tick
Drop and flick
Rough and slick
Forever and real
Touch and feel

Just say NO
And let it go

Freedom weakened rage
Simple
Liberate
No more the cage"

Ohhhhhhhh...loved these words...liberation..indeed...

Susan C.

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
6 posted 2003-08-06 04:32 PM


Awesome.

Bravo!

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
7 posted 2003-08-06 05:30 PM


Thanx Susan, it did feel good.

thanx Kar.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
8 posted 2003-08-07 12:28 PM


A thoughtful write, well done
~wranx

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
9 posted 2003-08-07 04:31 PM


thanx wranx

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

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