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Dark Poetry #3
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spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH

0 posted 2003-08-01 08:09 PM



STRUGGEL WITH LIFE  
as i struggel to work through my problems.
i have to help others through theres.
and when i fail.
i tend to lose them.
why am i so alone in this world?
no one will help me.
they just give up on me.
what am i supposed to do?
am i supposed to follow them?
or do i continue to fight?
whats the use?
when no one wants me to stay on this earth.
i dont think i should have been born.
so why am i still here?
======================================
ok i was bored and a little upset in spanish class when i wrote this today. there is a pictuer that gose with it wich i drew but i dont have a scanner so if you want to know what it was just let me know in the replies and i will explain it to you. or at least ill try to. Lor this is in no way about you so dont even begin to blame yourself.
Jian 8/01/03

"i am in troble but no one knows it if you can figure out my messages then help me.
at the end of the rope taking my last breath "

© Copyright 2003 Jian Sterry - All Rights Reserved
spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH
1 posted 2003-08-02 02:10 PM


why wont people review this. its not fair.

"i am in troble but no one knows it if you can figure out my messages then help me.
at the end of the rope taking my last breath "

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
2 posted 2003-08-02 07:36 PM


Yeah people are slow at getting to review other peoples work at times.  Ive written what I thought were some pretty good pieces, but.........   ...you know.  

And if you want a critique.  Try not to say everything right out and make the reader try and guess at what your talking about.  And I think this is how to spell "struggle"

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH
3 posted 2003-08-03 03:00 PM


oops i cant spell to well so yeah. your right.

"i am in troble but no one knows it if you can figure out my messages then help me.
at the end of the rope taking my last breath "

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