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Dark Poetry #3
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Gabkicks
Junior Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 13


0 posted 2003-07-22 03:26 AM



He wants a sense of purpose
A reason to live
Something to get up for
something worthy to give

He wants a sense of self-value
Remembering mystakes he wont repeat
To feel the so callled vigor of youth
To feel more than utter defeat.

To fight back thoughts of hopelessness
How he feels so incomplete
when life tastes so bitter, death smells so sweet
(what do u think.. i know it's repetitive)

© Copyright 2003 Gabkicks - All Rights Reserved
Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
1 posted 2003-07-22 03:49 AM


Not repetitive, constructive. Everything is bearing to strong and sometimes you need something to hold onto. One thing rings true to this peice though...strength.


         NJS

mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

2 posted 2003-07-26 06:12 PM


The poem has substance, value. You did a good job writing it and I enjoyed it. Nice write.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
3 posted 2003-07-26 06:42 PM


It's only repetitive to a sensible degree. It gives it rythm. I love this piece.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

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