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Dark Poetry #3
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eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys

0 posted 2003-07-17 01:42 AM


violins and dead roses crowd my mind as my vision blurs,
my hands tremble to the beat of our hearts,
my legs numb, my heart crowded and distraught,
i daydream of drowning in my own tears,
tears that have yet to be shed.

tears that hold so many memories, so many tragedies.
dark castles, and moonlit melodies, my body dances.
my head holds a halo of thorns, thorns which I have bled onto,
thorns that will scar you, and cut you as you have cut yourself.

mirrors show me harm.
never beauty but only ignorance I've allowed.
ignorance, never bliss. I see myself as never before.

I look, but have trouble understanding, or misunderstanding, realizing, accepting, or maybe I deney that myself,
I,
me ..... is yet a mishap in my eyes at times.

So close to the mirror, I can see and smell the snow.
I ski downward into a meaningless spiral, an emmotional rollercoater, a desperate act, a turmoil of lack of attention,
lack of love, lack of .... I lack so much.

my eyes blacken, and the room spins.

My organs scream abuse.
I ignore these remarks and symptoms like I ignore hunger.
I think of black velvet skys, red stars and strong ocean currents.
I dream of immortality and then despise it and go back to wishing I didn't exist.


    

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

© Copyright 2003 matt cockrell - All Rights Reserved
mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

1 posted 2003-07-17 01:03 PM


eor, you really let this one go. It was great to read. Really enjoy the intense atmosphere that you convey with your writing.

Mirrors show me harm. Felt this way at times. enjoyed.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Mad_Hatter
Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
Canada
2 posted 2003-07-17 03:29 PM


By far the best poem of yours I have ever read.  This was beautiful.  I grealy enjoyed every aspect of this poem.  I salute you.
MellonCollie
Member
since 2003-04-11
Posts 117
Austria,Europe
3 posted 2003-07-17 05:50 PM


great one...interessting to read...i love the title,it's a picture for itself

how will i laugh tomorrow
when i can't even smile today

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
4 posted 2003-07-17 05:53 PM


thank you, all of you, you all are so wonderful!

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Magia_negra
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 77
CA, USA
5 posted 2003-07-17 09:18 PM



It is a very thoughtful piece, romantic and sarcastic.
Loved a lot,

...somos los locos para siempre
para siempre te amo
   mi vida...

missmisery61
Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 56

6 posted 2003-07-18 11:30 AM


Eor  I love the raw honesty in your work. I've read several pieces and it's always there.

"lack of love, lack of .... I lack so much"

This line said so much with using a lot of words to do so and I really identified with it.

So lord I see you grinnin' must be grand always winning....AIC

mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

7 posted 2003-07-29 07:47 AM


so close to the mirror, I can see and smell the snow. Another great line. Had to read this poem again, something very mystic about it.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
8 posted 2003-07-29 02:19 PM


"I dream of immortality and then despise it"

Yep.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
9 posted 2003-07-29 05:25 PM


Nice.  All of your poems that I have read have been good.  Its like they paint a picture of an event and a response.  The event doesnt ever seem to be incredibly obvious, but the way you write about it its like going inside your personal thoughts and letting go of everything that seems haunting in nature.  
Nice.  I enjoyed it.

Oh yeah catchy title.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
10 posted 2003-07-30 10:25 PM


"I look, but have trouble understanding, or misunderstanding, realizing, accepting, or maybe I deny that myself,
I,
me ..... is yet a mishap in my eyes at times."

Nicely done! And the title?....YES
~wranx



eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
11 posted 2003-07-30 10:38 PM


thanks, all of you...
poe-thanks for going back again, you know i do appreciate it

Eromyna-thakns for your comment

green_itchy_stuff-thanks, i do try to paint a picture and my response to the emotion at hand caused by the event.

wranx- i appreciate it, it means a lot to me comming from you

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
12 posted 2003-07-30 11:12 PM


oh yeah! oh wow. never beauty but only ignorance I've allowed. yes, so true. I find myself allowing so many foolish things to occur. And it all comes back to me that I've done this to myself. " I lack so much."  Yeah I know how that is..if you had continued your poem would be so long no one would read it..haha. yeah! well I can relate. Especially today.
~Lex

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
13 posted 2003-07-31 12:06 PM


oh god how is it possible that another can tap into my emotions and thoughts?? hmmm...I do hope I sound sincere and not so lame..but urgh..something hangs heavy within me...damn..I think I can cry now...this was hauntingly gorgeous...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (07-31-2003 12:07 PM).]

Ankaria
Junior Member
since 2003-07-26
Posts 35
Sask. Canada
14 posted 2003-07-31 02:43 PM


You're such a passionate and illustrative artist. I loooooved reading this. I was just at a point in my life awhile ago where those exact words were how I felt. Every sentence, word, phrase was so familiar that it hit me really hard. I'd love to read more of you work, keep writing.
eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
15 posted 2003-07-31 05:37 PM


Lexy-thanks

Ceinwyn-you do sound sincear and not lame, i thank you for your comment, sorry, didnt mean to make you cry

Ankaria -thanks for your beautiful comment!

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
16 posted 2003-08-01 02:14 PM


Eor,
you always write straight from the heart..

it beats beautifully..and honest.


ClaptonsLayla
New Member
since 2003-08-02
Posts 5

17 posted 2003-08-02 11:20 AM


Deep, passionate, meaningful, beautiful, thoughtful, a clever head you have on young shoulders!  This I like very much indeed.  You have a strong way with words.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
18 posted 2003-08-03 02:13 PM


I just noticed how long this one has been up and decided to read it again, and I enjoyed it once again only this time I related better.  I think the reason this one has done so well with everybody is because most everybody can relate to it.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
19 posted 2003-08-03 03:37 PM


thanks greeny, you know i appreciate it!

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

20 posted 2003-08-18 08:45 AM


There's something more about this write. Lets spin it around again.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
21 posted 2003-08-18 09:53 AM


thanks poe, this one did mean a lot to me...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

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