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Dark Poetry #3
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Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-07-03 09:04 PM


Today,
cry.
Frustration,
ball up my
hands to
create chaotic
fists.

Wipe away tears
with
knuckles, do I
not bind my
time to
crash and
burn..
Peel skin
sink
back in..

Yesterday,
smile..
Fake,
whore my
instictive emotion
to the
masses.. What
is this
word that keeps becoming
the
numbing sound
of who I shroud..
in black
poetry.. Writing
silent
begging.
To become one with how
it feels to embrace
my own skin..

Peeled back,
tears..
let it all sink in
before
today
begins again.



© Copyright 2003 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

1 posted 2003-07-04 08:46 AM


I like the set-up using short jabbing words/lines. Very effective and added intensity to your poems meaning. Nice job.

mysticpoe

Ladybug
Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236
Massachusetts
2 posted 2003-07-06 06:40 PM


Very cool, and I agree with Mysticpoe that the terseness/choppiness of the lines added intensity.  
I love this:

"let it all sink in
before
today
begins again."

Very cool

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

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