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Dark Poetry #3
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Drown
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Drown |
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Black Swan Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 165on the moon 
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Angels scorn my face they burnt out my eyes deep rooted fears mold painful tears Hopes and whishes are abundant in my heart too bad though... too sad though... Don't think about it he said You'll move on with out me, you'll be okay Feelings run so deep I really cannot sleep and when I do I fall fall into my lonley ocean soul vast,forever expanding vision of being whole I want to burn the skies and scorch the Earth I want him to see the huge wave coming over me We are miserable together and apart all we can do is drown We both sink to the ocean floor so peacefully in the cold waters of truth I put out the fire drowning your selfish heart |
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kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
i liked the imagery you used refering to the ocean. it reminded me of the ocean imagery used by victor hugo. i loved it. |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Even though this is sad, I like it.  Ethel |
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Ladybug Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236Massachusetts |
Very cool poem, although sad. You conveyed your emotions very well. Good job!  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... |
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a_hollowman Junior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 30Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
Ah yes, the power of love and broken hearts... *silent moment of rekindled... kindling* Liked the poem, the intro stanza seemed more oriented at religion perhaps, but I'm not certain. Overall though, this was a nice read, and I'm sorry about your misfortunes. Many blessings though in your future! -a_hollowman |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
ah humans can't live wiht them cant live with out them...nice write |
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mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
You constructed and played the flow of this poem very well. No, outstanding job. Your use of words were magnetically potent. Nice write. mysticpoe |
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