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Forgotenandgone
Member

since 2003-05-07

Posts 52
NC

0 posted 2003-06-17 10:55 PM

Death is just another hard thing to live though
If you live though it...
Many do but the weak ones falter
Collapse to their feet
Fall into utter insanity
Their minds are corrupted
Death dissolves their every move
They payer but nothing comes to help
They want to forget but are forced to live with the pain
Hidden inside all this hatred is a ray of hope
Hope that could save but is too ignorant to show...

kadafi09
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 143
California, United States

1 posted 2003-06-17 10:57 PM

"Death Calls" this is a nice example of personification, good use of this literary device. nice poem overall. allthough, you had some misspelled words

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

2 posted 2003-06-18 12:27 PM

Welcome to Passions in Poetry.
We're glad that you've decided to join us here. We look forward to reading more of your poetry and hope to read your responses to other writers work as well.
Please check your e-mail for a special greeting.
Ethel/garysgirl
Moderator---Passions in Poetry

a_hollowman
Junior Member

since 2003-05-30

Posts 30
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

3 posted 2003-06-18 04:34 PM

  Well, this was strange. Overall I would say that this was somehow anti-religious, in an atheistic mindset, but there were a couple of points I didn't relate to atheism.
Many do but the weak one falter
Collapse to their feet
Fall into utter insanity
  Here is but a pessimistic Christian view, in that some people go on to live in eternity, but others don't. Christianity does believe that ALL make it to eternity, but that Purgatory, Hell, or even Heaven are the lieus of their 'existence'. But you seemed to have been trying to make a somewhat stronger point in the midst of that.
  It seems that you were smiting the 'unfaithful', the so-called corrupt beings. Very well composed piece, overall, and I appreciate the alleviation of some philosophy in poetry. Thanks for the great post.
                         -a_hollowman

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