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Paragon
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 114

0 posted 2003-05-18 10:26 PM

Shut me up
hide me away
push me out
forget feeling
this way
I conqured myself
only to fall
back down to
earth in spite
of it all
dont allow me
to reveal it
ever again I
hate feeling like
I am transparent
open for all
to see the
truth and what
I hide inside
the shadows
make them stop
shining the lights
in my direction
tired of receiving
unending correction
continual vivisection
of the heart and mind
because I am more
or less indifferent
to them, different
from them, inside
lies the inherent
truth that theres
only one way out
but I linger in the
shadow of doubt
hoping someone
somehow will figure
me out and bring me
back to me, back to
the times when life
was living, not dying...

ObeyYourGoldfish
Junior Member

since 2003-05-18

Posts 12

1 posted 2003-05-19 05:14 PM

Nice, i like your wording. I can relate. Good work, keep it up.

You say Freak like it's a bad thing...
~Breah

princessdani3122
Junior Member

since 2003-05-14

Posts 18

2 posted 2003-05-19 07:09 PM

I WOULD NORMALLY HIGHLIGHT MY FAVORITE PART ... I CAN'T WITH THIS ONE I LOVRD THE WHOLE POEM ... GOOD WORK!

DANIELLE

princessdani3122
Junior Member

since 2003-05-14

Posts 18

3 posted 2003-05-19 07:09 PM

*LOVED*

OOPS

SgtMac
Junior Member

since 2003-05-19

Posts 13

4 posted 2003-05-19 07:32 PM

I like it alot. Keeps my head running.

sgreybe
Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 209
London, UK

5 posted 2003-05-20 04:26 AM

Great work there!

Sounds almost like a rap... really good feel. I enjoyed this.

Keep it up!

Sylvia

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

6 posted 2003-05-21 12:09 PM

Good write, I can really relate.
Jenni

There are three kinds of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can't.

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

7 posted 2003-05-22 01:36 AM

I enjoyed how each of your lines tied together creating a graceful, yet unqiue bond.

AlostHeart
Member

since 2003-05-01

Posts 78
Wisconsin, U.S.

8 posted 2003-05-23 12:01 PM

Great write, easy for me to relate.
Keep it up and i'll be looking forward to your next write.
~Tori Louise~

Dont ever love a guy that will never love you back, no matter how hard you try.

ljossberir
Member

since 2003-05-04

Posts 81
Ny, USA

9 posted 2003-05-25 10:30 AM

great stuff..
love the three-word per line layout
no bland words here, all nice, blunt,powerful ones.
Definitely not sleepy or dull.
Strong.
Nice job.
-matt

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

10 posted 2003-05-25 11:30 AM

this is excellent
smooth and well worded.
I know the feeling... too well.
Just remember that usually you don't want to be like 'them' anyway. And life is more then what they make it.
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

11 posted 2003-05-28 04:20 PM

well done

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