After A Good Day Gone Bad :(

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Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2003-05-14 03:53 PM

coming in second again
always following and waiting on someone else's agenda.
I can't find the strength at this moment
to get up from the floor
and although its lonely down here
at least it is my own space
and if I'm having a pity party
its not a very good time
to crash.
This place with all its demands
is shredding my soul
and I know what feeds on those pieces
but right now
I'm so far into the fade
the moment
that I need to be left alone.
Why is it no one notices your despair
until you've drown in it?
Teased with thoughts
that shouldn't be written
right now
its the little things
that make me feel unnoticed.
spent all my time giving
and I have nothing else
just an emptiness
that hope can't find its way to these days.
There are tears
the ones I couldn't cry
and now I can't stop.
Here I am
sliding in second again
second to jobs
that rip time away from love's fingers
and the slow bleeding
from hearts that used to know closeness
closes in around me
each time I remember.
second to unsolved problems
that I have listened to without fail.
I have done all I can
and I need something for me this time.
second to her
a cup filled with spite
a broken heart
and some twisted love
that makes her think she'll never find anyone else.
Tired of playing good girl
sitting in the background
always listening
never saying a word.
just leave me alone
because there are no hands here
that want to hold me
without needing something in return
and at this moment
I have nothing to return
because these tears won't stop
and I am choking again on my frustration,
a heavy self feeding device
that grips my heart and soul
every time something going right
takes a wrong turn
on the wrong road.
and I'm tired of explaining
moment after moment of my life
when all I need is to be held
no excuses
no boundaries
no obstacles.
but there are always those
so my hope to at least get in an even pace
fades
along with my heart
and all the love I thought I had to give.
And maybe I'm turning into something ugly inside
and perhaps I'm wanting to enjoy it
because enjoying it
would be much more worth the pain of having to live with it against my will.
All this self interrogation
amounts to bad poetry
mental blocks the size of planets
and I don't care anymore
about fading
and I realize that there is nothing solid out there
that can keep me wrapped in hope
because through the pores of blankets
comes cold air
tickling and tormenting my tears
to come out and play a dangerous game.
There are times
when I can't speak through the thickness of despair
and this
is one of them.

You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

1 posted 2003-05-14 04:16 PM

I know these words all too well...I pick myself up only to find myself back there again...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

princessdani3122
Junior Member

since 2003-05-14

Posts 18

2 posted 2003-05-14 08:18 PM

And maybe I'm turning into something ugly inside
and perhaps I'm wanting to enjoy it
because enjoying it
would be much more worth the pain of having to live with it against my will

I have been there and its not pretty when you actually do start to enjoy it.Goodluck *hugs* it was beautiful.

this is my first time here... i'm loving it!

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

3 posted 2003-05-15 09:04 AM

It is easy to like it. What is hard is to become something more.

Thank you.

Peace is the only battle worth waging.
--- Albert Camus

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

4 posted 2003-05-15 12:06 PM

quote:
that rip time away from love's fingers
and the slow bleeding
from hearts that used to know closeness

I feel your pain sweetness...

excellent work, once again.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2003-05-15 12:40 PM

there are always hands that ask for nothing. . . but to be allowed to offer comfort. . .

brilliant work. . .painful and sad. . .but, brilliant. . . the work of your heart. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

6 posted 2003-05-15 12:41 PM

I know htis feeling well

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