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Dark Poetry #3
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Bitter Irony
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Bitter Irony |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY 
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BITTER IRONY I may look 12, but I'm more like 30. I make love, but just feel dirty. I seek pleasure, but find pain. I love the sunshine, but get only rain. I long for friendship, but I stand alone. I wander away, only to come back home. I search for the rainbow, but there's just black. I strive for completeness, but everything I lack. My glass remains empty, probably has a hole. My heart is broken. I'm missing my soul. I keep walking faster, but fall further away. I know the right words, but the opposite I say. Am I trying too much? Thinking too hard? No matter how I play, I keep picking the wrong card!  ELMO "No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!" [This message has been edited by qtpieelmo (05-06-2003 08:51 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 ¢¾ KT ¢¾ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SCREAMIN Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 51US, Tx |
WOW!!! I give you a 10+!! That was excellent, it is very creative. You did well. |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
I feel this way a lot. Great job with the rhymes. |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Thanx both of you, that means a lot to me!  This is one of my better pieces I guess--Thanx for taking the time!ELMO "No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!" |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
Sometimes life feels like this but you have to go on believing that it gets better. |
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ljossberir Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 81Ny, USA |
great poem! I love the tension of the contrasts between reality & desire, it is a timeless theme. good job  -matt |
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MellonCollie Member
since 2003-04-11
Posts 117Austria,Europe |
Nice one...i really enjoyed readin' it. I love the line: My heart is broken. I'm missing my soul how will i laugh tomorrow |
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ffpercent243 Junior Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 37United Kingdom |
As someone who looks (and is) old, this poem made me smile, but it did more than just that, because it is a well crafted poem. |
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dani Junior Member
since 2003-05-10
Posts 46 |
gorgeous that was beautiful reading words that will always have meaning is a magical experience i'll live a lie until i die or until you work out why |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Thanx all of you, I'm glad you can find meaning in words that mean so much to me!!  ELMO "No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!" |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
Honestly I can so relate! If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Thank you! Sorry I haven't been around much I am taking a 3 week crash course (16 week course crammed into 3) on teaching math, science & social studies so I have been very busy in a 2nd grade classroom, making lesson plans, and tons of reading  Now I finally have a breather  (weekend, whoo hoo, oh well 1 week down, 2 to go) & can catch up here in passions!! I miss reading all the wonderful poems here!!!  ELMO "No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!" |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I like the way you've written this. A straight up honest look. Glad yer home for a bit ~wranx |
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Yitzy Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30 |
beautiful, just beautiful a little awkward rhyming maybe but your point came accross succinctly and I enjoyed reading it |
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