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qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY

0 posted 2003-05-06 08:46 PM


BITTER IRONY

I may look 12,
but I'm more like 30.
I make love,
but just feel dirty.
I seek pleasure,
but find pain.
I love the sunshine,
but get only rain.
I long for friendship,
but I stand alone.
I wander away,
only to come back home.
I search for the rainbow,
but there's just black.
I strive for completeness,
but everything I lack.
My glass remains empty,
probably has a hole.
My heart is broken.
I'm missing my soul.
I keep walking faster,
but fall further away.
I know the right words,
but the opposite I say.
Am I trying too much?
Thinking too hard?
No matter how I play,
I keep picking the wrong card!


ELMO


"No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!"

[This message has been edited by qtpieelmo (05-06-2003 08:51 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 ¢¾ KT ¢¾ - All Rights Reserved
SCREAMIN
Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 51
US, Tx
1 posted 2003-05-06 10:58 PM


WOW!!!

I give you a 10+!! That was excellent, it is very creative. You did well.

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
2 posted 2003-05-07 12:15 PM


I feel this way a lot. Great job with the rhymes.


qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
3 posted 2003-05-07 12:40 PM


Thanx both of you, that means a lot to me! This is one of my better pieces I guess--Thanx for taking the time!


ELMO

"No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!"

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
4 posted 2003-05-08 02:20 PM


Sometimes life feels like this but you have to go on believing that it gets better.
ljossberir
Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 81
Ny, USA
5 posted 2003-05-08 11:43 PM


great poem! I love the tension of the contrasts between reality & desire, it is a timeless theme. good job
-matt

MellonCollie
Member
since 2003-04-11
Posts 117
Austria,Europe
6 posted 2003-05-10 07:13 PM


Nice one...i really enjoyed readin' it. I love the line:
My heart is broken.
I'm missing my soul

how will i laugh tomorrow
when i can't even smile today

ffpercent243
Junior Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 37
United Kingdom
7 posted 2003-05-10 07:30 PM


As someone who looks (and is) old, this poem made me smile, but it did more than just that, because it is a well crafted poem.
dani
Junior Member
since 2003-05-10
Posts 46

8 posted 2003-05-11 10:59 AM


gorgeous

that was beautiful

reading words that will always have meaning is a magical experience

i'll live a lie until i die or until you work out why

qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
9 posted 2003-05-11 12:12 PM


Thanx all of you, I'm glad you can find meaning in words that mean so much to me!!


ELMO

"No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!"

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
10 posted 2003-05-14 04:22 PM


Honestly I can so relate!

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
11 posted 2003-05-16 11:26 PM


Thank you! Sorry I haven't been around much I am taking a 3 week crash course (16 week course crammed into 3) on teaching math, science & social studies so I have been very busy in a 2nd grade classroom, making lesson plans, and tons of reading Now I finally have a breather (weekend, whoo hoo, oh well 1 week down, 2 to go) & can catch up here in passions!! I miss reading all the wonderful poems here!!!


ELMO

"No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!"

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
12 posted 2003-05-17 12:18 PM


I like the way you've written this.
A straight up honest look.

Glad yer home for a bit

~wranx

Yitzy
Junior Member
since 2003-05-12
Posts 30

13 posted 2003-05-18 07:34 PM


beautiful, just beautiful a little awkward rhyming maybe but your point came accross succinctly and I enjoyed reading it
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