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Dark Poetry #3
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something i will never have
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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something i will never have |
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MellonCollie Member
since 2003-04-11
Posts 117Austria,Europe 
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This is a poem I wrote some time ago...I don't really like it, but some friends of mine thought it was pretty good...well, what do you think?? something i will never have in my life there’s only rain no sun shines there for I’m alone all my joy in life has gone when you went away when you left me desperate and alone i cry all night such bitter tears i weep all day haunted by my fears and now I recognized that all I want Is something I already had but gave away YOU how will i laugh tomorrow |
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| © Copyright 2003 Simon - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
I liked this a lot but in my personal opinion you should have started out with a rhyme scheme if you were going to structure your poem around one. Only my opinion, though  I can relate to the content... I've done this before. Keep up the good work and keep sharing! I'll be looking forward to more!!~Jessa [This message has been edited by Jessica (04-16-2003 08:21 PM).] |
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MellonCollie Member
since 2003-04-11
Posts 117Austria,Europe |
Thanx, finally someone who got some critics about my poems...and I think you are right how will i laugh tomorrow |
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teenpoet Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280Michigan |
Yeah you also have uneven stanzas. But it is a good poem and I can relate. The blue phoenix thing is my name. It's my writing title. When I handwrite poems I sign them blue phoenix. The name has a lot of meaning to me even though I don't live up to the implication. Also two of my best friends and I writeback and forth to each other using our writing titles. I don't know if today is a good day, or if yesterday was, or if tomorrow will be, but I'd like to think so. |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
I love this!! You had it, but gave her away--this happens a lot to me, I don't realize how much the person means to me until they walk away!!   ELMO "No man is EVER worth my tears, and the one who is, will never make me cry!" |
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xxshadowxx Junior Member
since 2003-05-17
Posts 43Texas |
I really loved your poem. |
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