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pearl6884
Member

since 2003-03-23

Posts 72
California coast

0 posted 2003-03-23 03:40 PM

The voices trickle
In and out
As angry music plays
In my mind.
I play it over again,
Till the tune is familiar,
Till the song never ends.
Letting them run over me,
Like fingers tickling my back,
Causing chills...
I feel ill,
I feel dead,
I am left stripped
Of my trust, of my love,
Of the things I thought were true.
It is a lie,
But I can't help listening to it,
Remembering the times
When truth softly sang,
And trust was innocent
It's all in my mind,
I rewind and play it again.
Just to hear it,
Just to cringe,
So the pain comes back
Over and again.
His nails seep deeper
Into my skin,
Exposing the things
I already know
About myself, about him.
And the angry words trickle…
They fall into me,
They come out of me,
They have become a part of me.
And I immersed myself in them.

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

1 posted 2003-03-24 11:41 AM

Another nice one, your poetry is good.

mysticpoe

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2003-03-24 12:45 PM

(big hugggsssssss) Now it is time to start up a new song of forgiveness and move on, so start conducting one and let the new words of peace fulfill you! (sigh) I send angel hugs your way, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sarah, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

3 posted 2003-03-26 05:02 PM

This captures a lot....incredible write and rhythem!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

4 posted 2003-03-27 10:10 AM

This is a very good write and I voted.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2003-03-27 12:37 PM

This makes me think of someone listening to a painful message on an answering machine. This is why "erase" buttons were made.

Or maybe it's about a song that never ceases to lay eggs in your brain when it plays. Either way, awesome poem.

somethinginyoursocks
Junior Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 28
IN, the U.S. of A.

6 posted 2003-03-27 07:02 PM

WOW!! You've got me hooked! Every line made me want to read the next, and next, and next! I'm going to read all of your poems! Great command of the language! Great command of the emotions! You are great! I hope I can recieve critique from you in the near future!

-I don't need a signature-

[This message has been edited by somethinginyoursocks (03-28-2003 10:22 AM).]

SilentFreija
Junior Member

since 2003-03-30

Posts 37

7 posted 2003-03-31 01:13 PM

I voted for this poem! I liked it! This poem sort of reminded me of myself, I love your poetry and I'm hoping to read more.

Where you look for broken hearts...you'll find me...
mend my broken heart and love me
because I forget how to smile.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2003-03-31 02:17 PM

Excellent write..much enjoyed!

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

9 posted 2003-04-03 04:29 PM

Enjoyed...James

A. L. Becker
Member

since 2002-09-06

Posts 167
San Francisco, California

10 posted 2003-05-10 10:16 PM

Very very nice. i checked the box too!

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