navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Demon's Flame
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Demon's Flame Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
iMMuNe
Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 49
Maine, USA

0 posted 2003-03-03 06:18 PM


Burn the flame,
What a shame,
Do you feel my pain?
Do you feel what im trying to strain?

I don't think you do,
But let me explain,
Just one more time for you,
You see,

This DEMON inside
BURNS my mind,
This FLAME ignites,
What im TRYING to hide.

But its not MY fault,
Im born with this,
Its not MY fault,
I think of things that doesn't exist.

You think thats the end?
Thats where it begins
Why still,
Dont you see?!

Maybe you have to bleed,
The same way I did,
Maybe you have to feed,
Like the demon I once saw did.

The rope is tightened,
Dont let it slip,
The flames are burning,
Lets take just one last trip?

  

© Copyright 2003 iMMuNe - All Rights Reserved
Fariegirl
Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 147

1 posted 2003-03-03 07:10 PM


I REALY enjoyed this poem. It sounds like a song.
iMMuNe
Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 49
Maine, USA
2 posted 2003-03-03 08:57 PM


Thanks, I did read back at this and now you mention it, it does. Im going to revise it witha  chorus to make it sound more like one. Although, thats not hardly how I planned it out to be, but thanks, gives me more ideas
Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
3 posted 2003-03-04 12:12 PM


A raw and fierce write.I enjoyed.
Jason

teenpoet
Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
Michigan
4 posted 2003-04-24 01:59 PM


It really flows together and does sound much like a song.  That would be a cool song you ought to make it so.  I really liked it, keep up the good work.

~Keep dreaming~

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
5 posted 2003-04-28 01:44 PM


likes
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Demon's Flame

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary