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Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

0 posted 2003-01-14 11:31 AM



How bittersweet, this tragedy
Destroyed in my stupidity
Or maybe it's the therapy
To cure this mental disease
But I'm content to fall asleep
As long as I don't dream

I shouldn't be alive
Just another born to die
A single, lonely soul to cry
Watch the hours crawling by
While hope fades from my eyes
And emptiness eats me inside

So say you care as if it's true
Like I can put my faith in you
Bandage the crimson, corroded bruise
Promising something happy and new
Shackle me to reality
Shake me until I awake
Smile into my abysmal face
To watch my spirit break

I love you and here I lay
Here I stay
But you've gone away
Okay
If you want it that way
I am only a thing to betray

~Shadow Shay~

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

© Copyright 2003 Shay D. - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

1 posted 2003-01-14 12:15 PM


Hi again, Shay. Just like yesterday's comments, I find this one to be more a placeholder for some great rhythms and musical language. You have the ache and the rhythm and the ideas down well. I look forward to the point when you reach out hard and far, and your words begin to match your structure and music.

Mike

Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
2 posted 2003-01-14 12:37 PM


Thank you. I'm looking forward to that too. I think being in a community with writers like yourself will be a great help. It's been so hard to find inspiration elsewhere, and especially hard to find someone whose writing I can look up to.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
3 posted 2003-01-14 06:13 PM


Erowyna,
Anymore heartache and I would have cried. bsquirrel is right, this does have a cadence that reaches out.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



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