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Dark Poetry #3
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LADY_DEATH
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 105
Fl

0 posted 2003-01-04 04:20 PM



                  Road Rage


White-faced knuckles
grip the steering wheel hard

His bare teeth clenched tightly
to keep the anger inside

But his lid blows,
and obscenaties explode

Feel his revenge,
from the impact of his fist

Steel-toed boots
leaves bruises to your chest

Nobody helps you,
for they fear his power!


© Copyright 2003 LADY_DEATH - All Rights Reserved
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
1 posted 2003-01-04 06:26 PM


yikes! ...powerful write.
Definitely sounds like some road range
And maybe abuse, but then, I think road rage can be defined as that...

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

2 posted 2003-01-04 08:24 PM


Not bad, but a little short and lacking in description.  How does the implied victim get into a position where this man can inflict damage on him with steel toed boots?  I do like how you invite us to feel the rage in this man.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

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