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Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna

0 posted 2002-11-30 01:05 PM



c'mere little girl
I'm the Uptown Man
downtown for the leg curl
on a flim-flam plan

I'll catch a falling star
hang it back in your sky
kiss the reaper of bizarre
little darlin' make me fly

I'm your dream out of nowhere
sheddin' my three-piece cloth
gonna bend you on a side chair
and pledge to thee my troth

I'm your preacher, your teacher,
gonna own you for awhile
I bought the double feature
now you're goin' down in style

she froze into position
counting her negative sum
to the rhythm of contrition

~~'Mama told me not to come'~~

© Copyright 2002 K. Addison Elliott - All Rights Reserved
Sandpiper
Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
1 posted 2002-11-30 01:12 PM


A little background:

This is based on a rather high-class "lady of the evening" who caters to a few of the politicians of my "great" state (she is a customer where I work).  She is quite vocal about her career choice.  I once asked her if her family knew what she does and her response was, "My Mama taught me better, and no, my family does not know."

After she answered my question, this poem came to mind, along with a song by Three Dog Night (for those old enough to remember hehehe!) titled "Mama Told Me Not To Come."

D edgar Grey
Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174
Hell...(aka Wisconsin)
2 posted 2002-11-30 04:37 PM


I really enjoyed the beat in this piece...very song-like. Interesting and creative--I mean that in a good way, too!
Zai jian
Carson

If time and space are curved, where do all of the straight people come from?
Let's get one thing straight: I'm not!

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

3 posted 2002-12-01 12:21 PM


Jekyll hides in the shadows of appropriative acceptance, so long as his shadow is barely discernable in the scrutiny of his peers.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2002-12-02 07:03 PM


Enjoyed...James
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

5 posted 2002-12-03 12:16 PM


This poem almost made me want to snap my fingers as I read it.  It's extremely well constructed and holds a wonderful beat right the way through.  I think I'll add this to my library of chart toppin hits.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

hush
Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653
Ohio, USA
6 posted 2002-12-03 05:52 PM


I have to wonder about 'negative sum'? Is there an implication that she's not getting paid?

In any case, I like this, the last line packs a lot of punch, even moreso, being borrowed- the allusion would add something to the poem... I don't know the song, just going on what I know of allusions here.

I do often wonde about the negative stigma (and legislation) placed on prostitution here in the U.S.? I know it's kind of off topic, I guess I just don't understand why selling sex for a living is inherently bad... I mean, we're allowed to give it away...

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