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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Beware He Then
Dark Poetry #3
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WorrosLanrete
Junior Member
since 2002-11-14
Posts 45
0 posted 2002-11-14 07:34 PM


Then mind slips into the deep

Shatters then thin frail glass

Echoes of the hate resound once 'gain

Pulses deep what be left to stop

Hands of light seen no more

Beware He Then With Hate Filled Core

-JB
© Copyright 2002 WorrosLanrete - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2002-12-03 08:09 AM

I'd like to see this one expanded a bit..the concept is good but I'd like it fleshed out more. Maybe your poems are just a taste that begs for a second helping?
WorrosLanrete
Junior Member
since 2002-11-14
Posts 45
2 posted 2002-12-03 12:45 PM

Well, its like if you took a novel and had 10 sentences to contain the whole essence

I wrote most of these while clenching my head, only half-seeing through the tears, and slowly rocking back and forth.  Its not easy to form full ballads while I use the last shread of sanity to form a few lines
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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Beware He Then

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