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WorrosLanrete
Junior Member

since 2002-11-14

Posts 45

0 posted 2002-11-14 07:32 PM

Spirit be gone such lives no more

Hope has left with dark to come

Morrow comes yet shines no light

Come Quick Death I Welcome Night

-JB

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2002-12-03 08:06 AM

I hope the 'quick death' refers to sleep. You write in neat little vignettes.

WorrosLanrete
Junior Member

since 2002-11-14

Posts 45

2 posted 2002-12-03 12:38 PM

Thank you. My mind just seems to do that on its own.

D edgar Grey
Member

since 2002-08-21

Posts 174
Hell...(aka Wisconsin)

3 posted 2002-12-03 07:42 PM

I really liked this bit!!! (My mind wanders very quickly so I prefer short pieces.) Nicely written and very smooth...>; )

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." (If only...>; P)

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

4 posted 2002-12-03 07:54 PM

Very well written! I love the shortness yet great detail, you convey yourself well.. But I just ask that you remember this...
Hope will return, hang on to it, and keep faith.

Always, GG

-And so it was that time stood still-

PoeticJustice
Junior Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 44
AK, USA

5 posted 2002-12-04 02:46 AM

I like it! That was sharp and poignant, and very truthful. However, it does kind of "irk" me so to say, about how everyone connotates night and darkness with bad things. I happen to like those two things. I'd like to see a happy poem about darkness and night(in the appropiate forum, of course).

I often feel that way though.

WorrosLanrete
Junior Member

since 2002-11-14

Posts 45

6 posted 2002-12-04 01:39 PM

Darkness/night deals with sleep and emotions

light/day deals with activeness and work

Or so is the normal archetype

PoeticJustice
Junior Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 44
AK, USA

7 posted 2002-12-05 02:09 AM

Exactly! And we need to break out of vicious cycles like those that confine us so much!

WorrosLanrete
Junior Member

since 2002-11-14

Posts 45

8 posted 2002-12-05 03:39 PM

Okay, after you

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

9 posted 2002-12-06 09:53 PM

"morrow comes yet shines no light"

that is a beautifully written line.it says so much.

WorrosLanrete
Junior Member

since 2002-11-14

Posts 45

10 posted 2002-12-08 08:36 PM

Thank you

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