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Dark Poetry #3
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~K
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 104


0 posted 2002-11-02 06:44 PM



I need the breath
of the unseen
the rythmic twist
of memory
I plucked the apple
from the tree
& learned nothing

Intrinsic

© Copyright 2002 ~K - All Rights Reserved
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
1 posted 2002-11-03 09:11 PM


I think you learned that you didn't learn anything. Isn't that a lesson? hope it makes sense. Enjoyed the short thoughtfulness of this.

"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

Three Little Bears
Junior Member
since 2002-10-23
Posts 13
Wisconsin, U.S.
2 posted 2002-11-03 09:26 PM


I really like this. I'm not fond of wordy poems, this is short and to the point. Very well done.
  ~Andrea~

leafseranade
Member
since 2001-07-06
Posts 118
Wisconsin, USA
3 posted 2002-11-09 08:51 PM


This reminds me a lot of my style.  I enjoyed!  Short poems, I find, make you think more than long ones...there is less to sort through yet you are left with a questioning.  Hard to explain. heh. Anyway, I really liked this!  
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

4 posted 2002-11-09 09:10 PM


I saw what appeared to be Biblical allusions in this poem.  Am I correct?  Breath of the unseen seems to suggest God, especially with reference to Genesis 2:7.  I am having difficulty with rhythmic twist of memory.  My best guess is that it is a reference to DNA coils as containing evolutionary "memory" of life's journey on earth.  The final allusion to picking an apple from a tree is possibly an allusion to the fall of mankind and the forbidden fruit.

In any case, this was a very well written and concise mysterious little poem.  I think I'll be putting it into my library.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

~K
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 104

5 posted 2002-11-12 02:38 AM


Hey everybody, thanks so much for taking the time to respond! Definite biblical implications here. It seems to be a reoccurring theme I just can't shake. The rhythmic twist of memory refers to our discontent (to answer fractals question)

Thanks once again!

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