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Dark Poetry #3
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rascalx
Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA

0 posted 2002-10-29 10:26 PM


cutting the ties that bind
feelings I wish I could leave behind
these thoughts that occupy my mind
   tired of me being tired of you


given up counting the days
I've been a prisoner to your slavish ways
you're the criminal I'm the one who pays
   angry at me being angry at you


I used to dream of being free
but I'll be damned if you'll let me be
you won't stop 'til you've taken all of me
   sick of me being sick of you


are you through with me being through with you?

"People say I should learn some self control; but I just want to exorcise my soul"

"I'm still waiting on a revelation here in Never-Never land..."

© Copyright 2002 Jeff Osborne - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2002-10-30 04:31 AM


What a strong message in this poem but I guess I lived this and know the these lines all too well.  Extremely well done from the point of prisoner about to be freed.

       
A smile costs nothing but makes someone rich.

Succubus
Member
since 2002-09-30
Posts 82
Canada, Ontario
2 posted 2002-10-30 08:06 PM


Wow, this piece was very unique and interesting.  I liked it a lot actually.  I'm lookin' forward to seeing more of your work.
Kisses,
Succubus

"We who have lived in concentration camps remember people who gave comfort to others, along with their last morsel bread..."  -Victor Frankl

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
3 posted 2002-11-03 04:13 AM


Daaaa...ummm darn!? different from your love songs and such..refreshing I guess I dunno sorry I should be in bed I have no life and I'm just tipsy..I'm such a lightweight lol...

Kris

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2002-11-03 09:08 PM


I've asked this question to myself many times..and to someone else many times. You ask it with poetic perfection, m'dear. Love it.

"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
5 posted 2002-11-03 09:10 PM


I've asked this question to myself many times..and to someone else many times. You ask it with poetic perfection, m'dear. Love it.

"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

Three Little Bears
Junior Member
since 2002-10-23
Posts 13
Wisconsin, U.S.
6 posted 2002-11-03 09:29 PM


I agree, the message here is strong. I think it's something fairly universal, but you've stated it in a refreshing way. I enjoyed this.
~Andrea~

Moonlight Romeo
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982
The heart of you
7 posted 2002-11-04 08:44 AM


I know this feeling.  The only thing that can be done, is to break the chains.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

rascalx
Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA
8 posted 2002-11-04 08:46 PM


Thank you all very much; it's refreshing to see my somewhat more "dark" material strike a chord of recognition with y'all as well as the "lighter" stuff I normally post in Open. Thanks for reading
                         - Jeff

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
9 posted 2002-11-07 02:34 PM


sorry re-reading sooo love it...and btw who im's me 8 in the morning lol I was sleeping wish I could talk to you at a decent hour lol

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (11-07-2002 02:35 PM).]

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
10 posted 2002-12-01 12:25 PM


hmm..i've read this one several times..just back again and realizing i've not left a reply....yet...

we imprison ourselves in a place that we could easily walk out of...if we posessed no heart...
you have heart jeffrey..lots of it..and thats a good thing..   you hold onto your cell key..you'll use it when its time..and then you'll find yourself free..but do not go out without your heart my friend..

hugs, g

"laughter is the shortest distance between two people"  - victor borge

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
11 posted 2002-12-02 12:19 PM


We blame ourselves for so many things and then we realize it wasn't our fault to begin with. Don't know if that's quite the same message you have in your poem. But I can really relate to it. Great job.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are, too late to change?" -Dishwalla-

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