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Dark Poetry #3
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Amaranthine
Member
since 2002-10-06
Posts 61
ON Canada

0 posted 2002-10-14 11:48 PM



Turning and turning,
spinning and see?
your callous words
have no effect on me
burning and burning,
screaming and see?
I didn't care anyways
I knew it couldn't be
I forgive you, I'll forget,
I know you'll never be
an image locked inside my amber
static as the sea
Roiling and roiling
boiling and see?
No indeed, you never will
like waves upon the sea
emotion raw upon the face
of this shell that holds the Me.

Ecce qui tollis peccata mundi

© Copyright 2002 Brian Jones - All Rights Reserved
Succubus
Member
since 2002-09-30
Posts 82
Canada, Ontario
1 posted 2002-10-15 06:20 PM


Loved it...
Kisses,
Succubus

Some say it's better to have 10% of something than a 100% of nothing...
...But I'll only settle for a 100 thank you...

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
2 posted 2002-10-16 12:35 PM


i like the redundant rhyme for used, its really cool.

otherwise though your images were cliched and the only emotion i got was bitter anger, but as if it were through a seive.

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