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Amaranthine
Member

since 2002-10-06

Posts 61
ON Canada

0 posted 2002-10-11 08:42 PM

Morning often fails to pull me out of bed
where in dreams of darkness wrap the contents of my head
Dreaming slow and deep of places gone or yet to come It aches to wake and face the sun
I rise from caverns of my mind to brazen face of our young star feeling raw and sometimes weeping
Needing warmth craving heat still not as much as burning when it sees this shell
So I hide in shadows and run between light patches Loving trees for shade and not the glory of their green
My pale face unlined with laughter and tender forever thanks to apathy self-enforced
Knuckles white upon the handle of Hypnos' parasol

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

1 posted 2002-10-12 11:12 AM

this makes some sense to me.. but I have a lot to learn.

I like the way this looks like a story, but apon reading you can still tell what it is.

Succubus
Member

since 2002-09-30

Posts 82
Canada, Ontario

2 posted 2002-10-12 11:15 AM

I loved this piece. Only some are unlucky enough to see the world for what it truly is and realize that it is better to hide in the shadows than to be reveiled in the light.
I loved the entire poem, for I conect with it so deeply, but my favorite line is defitely this one:
"...So I hide in shadows and run between light patches Loving trees for shade and not the glory of their green..."
Kisses,
Succubus

Better to have 10% of something than a 100% of nothing.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2002-10-12 06:41 PM

Very interesting piece. I felt it flow within me. I really liked it a lot.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

4 posted 2002-10-24 10:52 PM

Nice work.
I did find myself wishing the lines were shorter, as the longer lines made me tend to read faster than perhaps they were meant to be.

Cheers

J

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

[This message has been edited by Jamie (10-25-2002 12:59 AM).]

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