navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Yelling
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Yelling Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
iMMuNe
Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 49
Maine, USA

0 posted 2002-10-06 02:43 PM


Im just listening,
Listening to the parents,
Yelling and dwelling upon my niece who is always screaming.

Screaming her head off,
My ma needs to [edit],
Shes always yelling at my old man,
You got two hands why dont you use them!

He uses two hands,
But what she dont understand,
Is that she needs start realising that,
My father is in chronic pain.

Surgeries after surgeries,
Make him a stronger man,
Yet weak inside,
All this commotion just wants me to blow up inside.

Yelling,
WHY
Yelling,
WHY

Why are they Yelling?
Who Knows!
Why Try?!
Trying no...

Yelling,
Yes!
I guess its for the best,
I walked out the door and never returned to that domestic stress..


-iMMuNe-

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (10-07-2002 12:25 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 iMMuNe - All Rights Reserved
Amaranthine
Member
since 2002-10-06
Posts 61
ON Canada
1 posted 2002-10-06 03:17 PM


Perhaps you agree with my belief that home is NOT where the heart is?  I believe that home can only be where one is at that moment... so walking out was a good thing
iMMuNe
Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 49
Maine, USA
2 posted 2002-10-06 04:00 PM


Indeed I do completely agree with you.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-10-07 12:27 PM


I loved the surgeries after surgeries bit.
That could be a poem in itself.

Just so y' know, if you want to include
harsh language, you need to write [edit].
It's too easy to count the asteriks
and divulge the meanin', otherwise.

Enjoyed, iMMuNe.

iMMuNe
Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 49
Maine, USA
4 posted 2002-10-07 05:21 PM


Alright man ill be sure to edit it next time and thanx for the compliments

-immy-

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
5 posted 2003-04-28 12:43 PM


You have shown darkness within this poem and others as well. Direct it through your words carefully and you shall rule among the under world. :-)
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » Yelling

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary