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Dark Poetry #3
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-09-23 03:44 AM


I will not write my eulogy,
but hence, herein, announce my birth.
Rhyme does not make an elegy--
no fluent tongue can shovel earth.

Unbinding ribbon from my wrists--
I am feather on the wind--
adrift in kiss of all I missed--
amazed as I transcend.

Without wing I transverse
a sky that I believed was cursed.

By grace alone, am I atoned--
ascending lonely wretched verse.

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
1 posted 2002-09-23 05:17 AM


I salute you in your new form
arthur

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-09-23 05:40 PM


Please ascend
your "lonely wretchedness"
to book form!!!

I need your verse.

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
3 posted 2002-09-23 11:58 PM


lonely wretched verse

stop it
and smile
for me

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

4 posted 2002-09-24 12:20 PM


This poem is quite haunting, while also very beautiful.  I like how you have personified all the experiences you have missed with your kiss, which you follow with the idea of transcending and floating through the air.  These images strike me as being quite euphoric.  However, this euphoria is set against a backdrop of lonliness.  Great job.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
5 posted 2002-09-24 09:42 AM



Nothing less than lovely lonely lines.

Loved this, witch

~Ed

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".      

~wranx~

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
6 posted 2002-09-24 02:22 PM


I think it is fabulous. Everything you write is tinged with a wicked softness. Very well done.
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navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » something in me will not die

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