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Dark Poetry #3
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WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

0 posted 2002-09-21 12:55 PM



Begging freedom  
from oppression  
allowing self  
some expression  
maybe even  
wicked confession  
still trapped  
fighting depression  
social banishment  
slipped, regression  
caused by tyranny  
lost impression.

WhiteRose  

© Copyright 2002 Anne Thompson - All Rights Reserved
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

1 posted 2002-09-21 09:43 PM


I must say that you are quite good at *cramming* words into small spaces and still using them effectively.  You were able to carry on your usage of words ending with "ession"-type sounds without making the poem sound too phony or list-like.  The whole thing flows like any other sentence, only with the almost subtly inserted ession words.  Great job.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
2 posted 2002-09-21 11:45 PM


You’ve packed a lot into this, and done it well, enjoyed the read!
arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england
3 posted 2002-09-22 06:05 AM


liked it
thanks
arthur

anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
4 posted 2002-09-22 07:19 AM


just to echo what the others have said really, you said so much in so few words here, that is such a skill, well done

Anya

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-09-23 05:49 PM


I don't find it crammed.
I find it speaking from a place
where it all must come out
lest the subject expire.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
6 posted 2002-09-23 05:56 PM


Not crammed, more of an expulsion. A stream of conviction.

You (and nameless others)write poetry faster than I can reply. So, my apologies to you (and them) for slacking.

I am reading though

~wranx

Silent_nights
New Member
since 2002-09-16
Posts 6
Dreamland,WI
7 posted 2002-09-23 06:35 PM


I think thats a good poem... Expesses much of how you feel... I like it
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2002-09-23 07:01 PM


Well done..
Enjoyed the rhythm.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
  So you won't ever forget me ~

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