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Dark Poetry #3
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arthur
Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678
england

0 posted 2002-09-19 11:45 AM



The time has come for me to leave
To cease,to go,no more to grieve
Away now, to some distant shore
To sigh and cry and die ,no more!

Maybe tomorrow all will be well
Whose to know and who can tell
Tomorrow life may start again
Free of you and all that pain

Tomorrow came, and its just the same
And here I am: back with you again

arthur
sept 02

© Copyright 2002 michael bennett - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-09-19 12:39 PM


arthur,
Wow, what an ending...
The choice to start no beginning.
Phew.

Mike

WhileIWasGone
Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486

2 posted 2002-09-19 12:55 PM


Very nice work...enjoyed much.

DeaDiAmoure

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2002-09-19 12:59 PM


Maybe tomorrow all will be well
Whose to know and who can tell
Tomorrow life may start again
Free of you and all that pain

Tomorrow came, and its just the same
And here I am: back with you again
-------------------------------------------
Well Arthur, this one just about blew me out of the water!  What an ending indeed!!
Just when you think there will be a change ..you wake up and everything is the same and you start all over again...gee, I know this song!
Well done!
~Hugs across the pond~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
  So you won't ever forget me ~

Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
4 posted 2002-09-20 10:43 PM


ooooh just when you think everythings going to turn out fine you find yourself back where you started. its good though

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

5 posted 2002-09-21 09:47 PM


Is this a followup to your Mona series?  If it is it is quite well done.  Once again, you have demonstrated fine use of meter and rhyme.  These both make the poem flow and move such that it delivers its message quite effectively.  You do a good job in "putting your foot down" only to have the situation reappear again the next day.  Perhaps the speaker has more grieving to do?

In any case, this is a good poem.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

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