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WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

0 posted 2002-09-11 07:20 PM

This morning I woke to darkness
haunted by remnants of those lonely hours
tapers reduced to wax dried on brass
Soft wilted petals of a solitary rose
with blood red thorns where they hit their mark

I tried to coax my mind to drift
but its grasp on the reality of things burned my throat
like the harsh flavor of spirits
with owed criticisms and "should haves" plaguing my every thought

I slipped on my shoes and robe
and outside I picked up the shears to pluck a new rose
This time I was careful not to snub the thorns
I selected fresh candles
and peeled the wax from the shiny brass holders

And there I sat
still dressed from the previous night
with a corked bottle placating my nervous thoughts
"Tonight" he'll return with soft words and tender kisses
Tonight
I'm sure of it

A. L. Becker
Member

since 2002-09-06

Posts 167
San Francisco, California

1 posted 2002-09-11 09:54 PM

Brava, dear, yet again! your poetry is riveting.
Annika:-

"Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?'
Let us go and make our visit."
-Eliot

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

2 posted 2002-09-12 03:54 AM

Nice work,

Well written and sorrowful,

Zall

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2002-09-12 05:10 AM

T'would be foolish for one not to return to such a lovely, gardener.

This is wonderful, yet again.

~Ed

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".

~wranx~

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-09-12 11:55 AM

H.
Beyond reproach or reprieve.
Just ... beautiful.

Mike

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

5 posted 2002-09-12 11:32 PM

a lonely
wanting sit
this
mmm
brian

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

6 posted 2002-09-13 11:47 AM

yes...hauntingly beautiful as usual..

Kristen

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

7 posted 2002-09-13 09:49 PM

Thanks for reading and the kind replies...

DeaDiAmore

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

8 posted 2002-09-13 11:47 PM

This is quite a good poem. You've done a very good job incorporating symbolism and imagery here and allowing them to recur without a recurring structure, as so many poems here do. The constant image of alcoholic beverages and roses makes for some nice symbolism here. You've done a great job conveying the idea that life experiences, like roses, aren't all perfect, but have their thorns. The narrative flows beautifully in this poem. I will most certainly put it in my library.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

9 posted 2002-09-14 12:33 PM

Thank you for reading and the kind reply...You boosted my ego....thanks.

DeaDiAmore

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