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Dark Poetry #3
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Chills
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Chills |
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~Allie~ Junior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 13New York |
~I wrote this on one of those magnetic poem boards.. it might be kinda confusing but I tried~ Whispers of sad drops cold all over me lost in a deep empty feeling I am one star far from its sky I soar to a stormy sea wild with lies Tired wind, Breathless waves A sudden chill swallows my heart As I surrender to its deep red rain Allie |
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| © Copyright 2002 Allie Vela - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Very cool poem in tiles. I don't see where you were stifled at all. Don't tell me that you just tossed them all at the board, and this is what happened. ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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angel girl Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322within a whisper... |
This is not confusing at all! I liked it very much. Thanks for sharing. |
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~Allie~ Junior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 13New York |
I didnt just toss it all up there.. it took me about 3 hours maybe... it was one of those nights when you cant sleep! Allie |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hi, Allie. Here's two I did last year. I'd almost forgotten them! i. my deep petals, sea-black water. blood roses & still roads. recall the leaves, my head. go. go above. do as i do. no less from use. up. up and there. like some mean it (but none like her). ii. edible season honeybutter skin. swallow peppersmoke stew. savor ice cream cake. flavor sour sauce bake. spice bread oil brew whisk. fold the light and my wish. They took forever.  I know exactly where you're coming from.Mike |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
No no, not confusing in the least bit! I enjoyed it very much! -Tanya ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"I am one star far from its sky..." This one line speaks volumes! Linda |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I love those things...I play with 'em when I'm in a writing rut--it forces the mind to think in different ways, and just the constraint of limited words frees up the mind to stretch in the NEXT poem...and back to the "feature presentation" I think you did an excellent job of layering these images to express an emotion of wistful longing and loneliness...beautiful! |
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