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Dark Poetry #3
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2002-08-29 07:13 AM


sand
  sinking
    sandal
      steps--
                  
(disappearing in the grain)


            sand
              simple
                soldier
                  slept--


(imagineering lack of pain)


                         sand
                            sorted
                               simply
                                  swept--

(engineering what remains)


                                       sand
                                   slipping
                            sleepiness...

(volunteer my blood--as rain...)
              


[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (08-29-2002 07:40 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-08-29 12:29 PM


"Your voice sounds like tiny little rocks, and they're biting, hitting, leaving marks and blood."

Until dust...

Mike

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
2 posted 2002-08-29 12:35 PM


brushstrokes
each similar
but making different pictures
zazen
Karen
blood as rain
sandwoman
b

Dragon Mistress
Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289
Washington, USA.
3 posted 2002-08-29 03:05 PM


Wow..This was good!
-Tanya

~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2002-08-29 08:03 PM


ah...thanks for reading, but this was just sort of an experiment--yer all so gracious even about me garbage!
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
5 posted 2002-08-29 09:42 PM


Always enjoy these small pepples of you...grand as they are in your form sweet sis!

miss you and your experimenting..specially since you don't wanna 'speriment over to Cali...*winks*

get my email or WHAT???? grins.

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-08-30 12:32 PM


Now, more than ever, I need to learn how to hack e-mail!
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
7 posted 2002-08-30 03:25 PM


kwel you should experiment more often then

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

MidnightSon
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars
8 posted 2002-08-31 03:43 PM


kind of sad and peaceful...

but the liine i liked best was "engineering what remains".
indeed.

it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2003-08-24 10:45 AM


an experiment, she says . . .
*shaking head*
would love to be an assistant in your laboratory
xxoo

SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
10 posted 2003-08-29 04:45 PM


When I read this the soldiers in the sandstorms in Iraq is what came to mind, and also building something that's not on a rock...no solid foundation, will crumble. I love reading you. It's always an amazing ride!!! And I don't even have to buy season tickets..how good is that!?!?! hehehe

Shara @-->--


Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

[This message has been edited by SharaRose (08-29-2003 04:46 PM).]

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
11 posted 2003-08-29 06:46 PM


the astecics(sp??) are very pleasing, not to mention it is a good write

"There never was a genius without a tincture of madness."

click1
Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 152
usa
12 posted 2003-08-30 06:27 PM


I liked the pace of this one...it was sad and good all at the same time,for me,as I read ...

                  Thanx!

Click

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
13 posted 2003-08-31 02:30 AM


I'm with Sue on being your assistant in the laboratory...man the three of us could mix some stuff and watch it explode...hehe

This was different Serenity, but I really liked it!


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
14 posted 2003-08-31 04:16 PM


Karen,

The form, rhyme and rhythm were amazing as always.  The meaning, as I see it, was scary..you know the military motto...never volunteer..



Susan

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
15 posted 2003-08-31 07:02 PM


What a punch.. the ending line, wow..


green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
16 posted 2003-09-01 12:34 PM


Very nice.  I enjoyed it as well.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

17 posted 2003-09-01 04:48 PM


wow.

You all are too kind.

Y'make me wanna play in the dark more often.

smiles and hugs,

and I hope to return the favor of reading soon--my apologies--I'll be back soon.

er. I hope.

thank you


Lady Godiva
Junior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 35
at the bottom of your glass
18 posted 2003-09-04 05:45 PM



far from garbage methinks....I've fallen off my horse again..help me

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
19 posted 2003-09-04 11:27 PM


Damn yer good!
Love ya lady!
~Hugs~

      ~ Summer can't be over...
   I still have sand in my shoes ~

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