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Dark Poetry #3
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Shattered Again
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Shattered Again |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
It seems like every time I try something new... everything always -- leads back to you. And each time I try to heal my wounds, they grow sore, and begin to bleed. I've tried so hard to clean my frown... everything I try -- gets me thrown to the ground. And each time I try to pick up my pieces, they turn to shards, and I get hurt. Every night I've been cried to sleep... I can't remember -- how it go this deep. And each time I try to mend, ...I.break... And then I'm shattered again. "if i'd known you were gone for 3 days i'd have missed you." you opened your arms. i turned away... ~you and i~ [This message has been edited by PoeticGoddessOfDepression (08-29-2002 02:05 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Sara Nicole - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
Sara, Great, I loved this poem!! Good write...good write. -Tanya ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
Wow. I can really feel your emotions coming through with this. Incredible job. Write some more!! |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
thanks to the two of you. |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
sara- i thought that that was a relly deep poem and i am really impressed by how well you write. i hope to read more of your stuff and i hope you don`t get upset. your friend allison |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Sara, Get Reznor to provide the backdrop and you've got yourself a hit.  ("begin to bleed," not "begin bleed") Mike |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
Aw.. Allison... Thanks. I'm not mad at all, though. I wouldn't post anything here, if i didn't want people to read. And mike... Thanks for clearing that up... I always miss the little things like that. Ugh! thanks again you two! ~sara |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
hey, this is reallllly good. i luved it !! i was searchin and i saw this and read it and i had to reply i dont know how to end this reply so once again... good poem ~samantha~ "sometimes i just feel like |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
THis is a good poem. I do not quite understand your stanza: Every night I've been cried to sleep... I can't remember -- how it go this deep. And each time I try to mend, ...I.break... Is the second line merely a grammatical error or is it something I am not aware of? Your two dashes, what purpose do they serve? In the end, however, you've got a rather well-structured poem. Your rhyming needs a bit of work, but if you're like me and not a walking dictionary, you know that we all need some work in that area. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hi. |
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jennilynn Junior Member
since 2002-11-11
Posts 29here with me |
this really reminds me of my life. good write. ~jen~ |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
Sam-- Don't feel like you have to reply to everything I've ever written because you're my friend.. you dont, ok? lol.. but thanx. Fractal - There's a rythem to the poem and where the two dashes are (--) you're supposed to stop. yea.. i don't know.. it's sorta confusing. thanks though! Mike - Hi!! It's been forever, right? I haven't been in dark for a long while.. I've been in Teen poetry, but I'll be sure to check out your stuff every now and then! Take care!! Jen - I'm sorry it reminds you of that - I know how hard it is, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone... I really hope things get better for you! Thanks for reading everyone! Take care and happy holidays!! ~~Sara~~ “I make an impact on lives thru truth as well as lies. I overcome ur eyes +leave and etched memory forever. |
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