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Dark Poetry #3

One Girl

Guardurthoughts
Member

since 2001-10-16

Posts 66

0 posted 2002-08-27 12:01 PM

Forbidden
Love,
Trust
Lost,
Hearts
Broken,
One
Mistake
Tore
A
Girls
World
Down.

Empty
Stares,
Lost
Words,
One
Lie
Killed
Those
She
Loved.

A
Heart
Filled
With
Shame,
Pity,
Pain,
Remorse,
And More.
One
Misconception
Killed
Her
Sprit.

A
Forgiven
Taint.
A
Lost
Mistake.
One
Family’s
Love
Will
Save
Her.

~~~Gaurdurthoughts~~~

"the best and most beautiful things cannot be seen,or even touched. they must be felt with the heart"

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

1 posted 2002-08-27 12:03 PM

*claps* I like the format and it was a good read

I cant see past all the pain and torture that goes on in the places we call,
home.
~Azi

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-08-27 12:52 PM

I too liked the format--It was quite "knife-like" a sword into the ground, as the 17th ? century challenge of battle. I know you did not ask for critique, but I would hold this one, and temper and hone it...you've got an excalibur in the rough here.

Dragon Mistress
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 289
Washington, USA.

3 posted 2002-08-27 02:37 AM

Wow. The format was awesome!! Truly was!! keep up the good work!! I hope to read more from you!!

~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

4 posted 2002-08-27 01:55 PM

You could also see in this, a straight path toward deliverance. Both in content and construct.

Thanks for the read, Guardur.

~wranx

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".

~wranx~

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-08-28 02:42 PM

I like how the ending
twisted the poem from drama
to life!

Mike

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