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Dark Poetry #3
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things, forever gone
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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things, forever gone |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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a sudden slack of sail as sea distills an eerie calm oh-the-still- silence alarms-- a portent in a red sky dawn... I have sailed too many seas-- I smell storms before their birth-- I recognized a sky no good an ocean pours from a flat earth-- I am the sacrifice of pawn... I draw the maps. I sketch the turf. My sighs are singing sounds of surf-- in dirge of things forever gone, lingering a maddened song. * * * I saw it coming. So I begged, please, let's talk of love instead. Don't you love me? Love is dead. He punctuated with his fist. I don't love you. Love is dead. I knew that it would be like this... |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
the last half sets teeth to clenching to deal with it's intensity The first half is read again after and understood in a different light this is powerful stuff and I HOPE it's but your fertile mind thoughts brian |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest |
Serenity.....I read this and almost came unglued. I felt every word and every emotion you wrote. So wonderfully defined! It was so poetic.....yet so painfully REAL. I am glad I posted tonight, just so I could embrace this read. Thank You!  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'm okay. smiling...you are all so lovely...smiling...trust me? if something "other" had gone on t'nite? I would not be typing.   damn that was sweet.... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Glad for the disclaimer. I will have to adhere more DorothyParkerisms to your writings.... |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I can see it now. Rights read, (serenity sighs) wrists in clasp, behind her back in disarray, disheveled mane "Watch your head" back seat bend Silent stare to match the ride (serenity sighs) Flashed face, inky finger stationhouse inquistion "LOVE IS DEAD!" is what he said "And that's when I killed him" Sighed reply ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"And that's when I killed him" tell me this cannot be submitted as evidence in court... damn ye... *chuckles* and hugs. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
missed your lovely words sis of wonder...this is a grand avenue of defense...as I'm sure your MAKING this a happy one... finally back!! uhauls? they are *evil*...grins... will report all in email at a later date.... ~sighs~ LOVE YOU... Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
If but only I had your vision My writing would be This good Since you made my last one Come alive with new tangents I had to applaud you tonight |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
if you knew that it would be like this, then i urge you to sink the dirge you deserve so much better you demand it remember? (still reaming emotions with this one, as it was deeply moving) i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks guys...I'm back. (seems there was this nasty little virus going around the grade school here, that made its way home to ME!  )I thank you all so very much. I LIKE it in the dark...oh hell, I like it in the light too...let's face it, I just LIKE IT!  |
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Zall Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 214London, England |
I also had to read it through again to appreciate, good work |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Wow.... |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
Wow. Great work. I loved it. The second half kinda took me by the throat, and I had to read the whole thing over again to understand. I like it lots! ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Sorry the images of the sea impressed me If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
hey, not even magellan made it back. now this is a metaphor. impressive, 'ren. it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
What you wrote was really haunting and powerful. It really touches with one's emotions. Beautiful... |
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