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Passions in Poetry

i have tasted silence

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EveGnosis
Member
since 02-21-2002
Posts 301
New York, USA


0 posted 07-31-2002 02:22 AM       View Profile for EveGnosis   Email EveGnosis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for EveGnosis

the taste of slience, oh yes
we all speak of it now
but to me, taste is reality
the taste of silence
when so loudly spoken from my own lips~well,
the taste buds inside this flamboyant mouth
don't even hint to have sensed...scensed.

but the taste of silence, so harshly
when given from your victor's hand
endures a chain reaction
of all of the senses
one after another
and leaves you
as well as me (if not moreso)
sucking on your own toes
so silence is unwelcome cheese

for i don't know about you
but this poets foot couldn't possibly
be shoved so deep
even with such a big, "pillow-lipped" mouth.
maybe silence is to remind me (and us all?)
of the taste of a petroleum based lubricant
to fit such a large "human-to-earth" stabilizer
into such a wishfully larger than reality orafice.
but, just in case, i offer this
i'm not very good at interpreting the nothing
of all you have to say inaudibly.


i'll always need a friend, one i can defend.

[This message has been edited by EveGnosis (07-31-2002 02:25 AM).]

© Copyright 2002 EveGnosis - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


1 posted 07-31-2002 04:00 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

NICE...

I love the "lay-out" of the land here. This opener, is actually quite dramatic, and summoned a dark stage and spotlight in my mind:

the taste of slience, oh yes
we all speak of it now
but to me, taste is reality
the taste of silence
when so loudly spoken from my own lips~well,
the taste buds inside this flamboyant mouth
don't even hint to have sensed...scensed.

I can picture darkness talkin', I can.

loved the tone, dark, moody and sorta dank--

thanks! heh heh.

wranx
Member Elite
since 06-07-2002
Posts 3778
Moved from a shack to a barn


2 posted 07-31-2002 10:17 AM       View Profile for wranx   Email wranx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wranx

A nice "Poor Slience, I knew him well" kind of soliloquy.


~wranx

The shortest distance between two points...
is sometimes, intolerable.      

Bukowski

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


3 posted 07-31-2002 01:05 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

An Alas, We Knew Him Well soliloquy, about foot cheese?!?!?! Heh heh, only you, E.G. Only you. Glad yr here!

Said if I only could ...
-KB

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-31-2002 01:06 PM).]

devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


4 posted 07-31-2002 01:43 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

should I tease you with the girl or boy thing NOW..or laters??? tsk to me again..I'm sooo ashamed!!! (the whole purity thing)

You are crystal dark here...

"maybe silence is to remind me (and us all?)
of the taste of a petroleum based lubricant
to fit such a large "human-to-earth" stabilizer
into such a wishfully larger than reality orafice."

yes yes YES!!! what an image you paint here!!!

As always, I enjoy your deeper than pen emotion!!!

~just a girl


Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...


[This message has been edited by devina (07-31-2002 01:44 PM).]

Purity
Senior Member
since 11-20-2001
Posts 530
Once Upon, USA


5 posted 08-01-2002 09:30 PM       View Profile for Purity   Email Purity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Purity

Very cool work here, Eve! One of your best efforts! I liked!
(As much as I have also liked the Eve/Devina boy/girl thingy. It's a hoot!)
...thinking of Roseanne on the pitcher's mound...(yet not having to scratch just yet lol)
devina
Member Elite
since 10-28-1999
Posts 3189
Northern Cali


6 posted 08-01-2002 09:57 PM       View Profile for devina   Email devina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for devina

Glad you all can grin for me...

I'll come out of hidin now...

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...


WhileIWasGone
Senior Member
since 07-18-2002
Posts 503


7 posted 08-02-2002 12:33 AM       View Profile for WhileIWasGone   Email WhileIWasGone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for WhileIWasGone

I love this....Great work!

Enjoyed much

DeaDiAmore
Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-11-99
Posts 2250
Skelmersdale, UK


8 posted 08-02-2002 07:48 PM       View Profile for Moon Dust   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Moon Dust

Kwel silence s kinda creepy sometimes

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Dragon en Morta
Junior Member
since 07-31-2002
Posts 12


9 posted 08-03-2002 11:20 AM       View Profile for Dragon en Morta   Email Dragon en Morta   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dragon en Morta

Hmmm... whoa!  This is wildly uneven.  Lopsided almost to the point of unstability.  I give you definite creative points, but I'm going to have to dock you on the structure and theme.

I found that the beginning started very symbolicly, very unreal like.  Then, as we progress through the poem, things start to become a little different.  Finally, by the end, I felt as if the poetry was yelling at me - forcing a message upon me.  

While I think the words and flow are quite impressive, i think this poem could use an edit.  Perhaps trim this down to half the size and work on more powerful imagery.  Stay focused and sweep a theme throughout the piece.  

You seem to have the talent for writing, you just need to harness it.

Great job.
Dragon
Purity
Senior Member
since 11-20-2001
Posts 530
Once Upon, USA


10 posted 11-06-2004 12:19 AM       View Profile for Purity   Email Purity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Purity

I guess since I put my foot in my mouth today in a big way, I found this to be most apropo!
I had forgotten the days of your forcing fetishes into everyday situations...lol.

Still a masterpiece, Eve!

Wings bruised from turning away in such confined space...Not broken...still healable...still feathered with life, somewhere

 
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