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Dark Poetry #3
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Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods

0 posted 2002-07-25 02:32 AM



BENEATH YOUR CELLARDOOR

When sadness linger
behind every muted palm
And the distant horizon's
no longer distant
When a childs laughter's
rather fierce than cheerish
And heaven fills
your loungs with water

When the day
is your night
And the night
your vortex of dismay

Then you solely discover
the coldness of your lonliness
And find yourself
dead to all love
With a heart of
dull desire
To sneak a peek
beneath your cellardoor


© Copyright 2002 Jay Hartson - All Rights Reserved
shadowchild458
Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 117
MN,USA
1 posted 2002-07-25 10:27 AM


this reminds me so much of school. It just brings back way too many memories I can't even tell you how many. And that one verse expecially:

When a childs laughter's
rather fierce than cheerish

beautifully written though.

life may just take a while but i guess heaven's worth the wait

AKJ

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
2 posted 2002-07-25 03:40 PM


This is really good... I was a little surprised, though.
I didn't think it would end the way it did.. but that made this even better.

Keep it up.
-Sara

"Without you, without you, everything falls apart.
Without you, It's not as much fun to pick up the peices." -NineInchNails

Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods
3 posted 2002-07-27 09:12 AM



Thank you both so much for your kind replies,
it means alot to me.

Yours truly
~Broken~

Such griefs with such men well agree,
But wherefore, wherefore fall on me ?
To be beloved is all I need,
And whom I love, I love indeed.

S.T.C

Lethe
Junior Member
since 2001-04-10
Posts 36
Blackforrest
4 posted 2002-07-27 09:16 AM



Didn't expect it to end that way,
but I enjoyed the read.


LSM
Junior Member
since 2002-07-28
Posts 11
Oregon
5 posted 2002-07-28 12:27 PM


Broken, I really liked this piece

LSM

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