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Dark Poetry #3
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iMMuNe
Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 49
Maine, USA

0 posted 2002-07-23 10:28 AM



Every night I dream of being in luxury and how it would be but I know it will never happen to me.
With the drug abusive mother and father in chronic pain I don’t know think I’ll ever come out of this shame.

The drugs,
The Abuse,
The Fighting,
The Fuse that will light this bomb and blow me the **** up.

I’m tired of this bull ****
No one knows what I deal with.
And how I feel about this.

I don’t know what to do,
My life is so ****ed up
With this half ass luck I rather be abducted than stay in this hell whole.

Fighting for air,
Trying to be fair,
I think my life just blown away.
But all I need to do is pray.

The drugs,
The abuse,
The fighting
The fuse that will light this bomb and blow me the **** up.

I told you,
Nobody loves me, nobody cares
Why live in a town
Where its turned upside down on me

And having to be
Someone else other than me!
Maybe I should just die
And fly with the true freedom that God has given me.

I’m standing from a 3rd story window
Waiting to fall
Waiting for my friends to watch it all,
My life turn around with just one jump,
But what do I dare?

Nobody Loves Me, Nobody Cares.

The horror slammed me on the ground,
But I need to wipe away this frown
God when I look up at you,
You look down on me.

You have always been watching over me and my family,
But it seems like your not doing anything,
To release this inner-demon.

What I need to do is pick myself back up,
Maybe find a way to get out of this bad luck.
God has blessed me with the one thing that no one else can give,
And that’s me.

I will try for you,
I will try for me,
I will try for my life,
I will try for my family.

God,
You have given me the best thing of all,
And that’s me.


© Copyright 2002 iMMuNe - All Rights Reserved
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
1 posted 2002-07-23 10:43 AM


A promising first write, shows potential.
You’ll have to widen your vocabulary to leave out the profanity,
But you’ll find the profanity really adds nothing
You can achieve that low class mood with other methods.
I personally care for a bit more structure in poetry,
But this open style gives the RANT feeling
Which I think you were attempting.

Gloom

iMMuNe
Junior Member
since 2002-07-23
Posts 49
Maine, USA
2 posted 2002-07-23 11:39 AM


So did that mean you liked it or you didnt? This was made when tears where in my eyes, black filled my heart, and yelling was going on downstairs. Its not in poem form, yet I tried to make it that way so many of you can understand.

If you dont like it, I kno why. But its ok, not many of you experienced what I have.

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