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Dark Poetry #3
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-07-22 01:12 PM



Agate sparkle lost.
Corona slipping back.
No flare to hold this in.
No flame to burn the sky.

I am a failed sun.
I have lost
the light.

No face of shine in water.
No hello in your mirrors.
No window warming glass.
The planets will not orbit.

I am a failed sun.
I have lost
the light.

Understate collapse.
Brown white ball of gas.
Cannot give paths to maps.
No tropics to divide.

I am a failed sun.
I have lost
the light.

Watch a candle go.
That flicker in my hold.
That growing, growing cold.
Skypaint lost in night.

I am a failed sun.
I have lost
the light.

(inspired by listening to Radiohead ... even though the CD isn't with me at the moment )

She said burn ... together.
-TON

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2002-07-22 02:41 PM


This reads like lyrics
and
It don't taste like chicken

(not bland)

~wranx

The shortest distance between two points...
is sometimes, intolerable.      

Bukowski

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-07-22 02:47 PM


Thanks, wranx. But ah like th' taste of chicken! (but I like the taste of alligator, too)

She said burn ... together.
-TON

MidnightSon
Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars
3 posted 2002-07-22 04:05 PM


the chorus and concept were not bland indeed.

when suns fail, they turn into black holes and pull everything in...and you've drawn me in with this intriguing write.
enjoyed.

it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown

[This message has been edited by MidnightSon (07-22-2002 04:06 PM).]

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-07-22 06:38 PM


Aahh, the stuff I remember from college...

The sun is too small in mass to become a black hole.

It will become a red giant, then a white dwarf.

I guess I'm in the red giant phase. (that's not funny)

Glad y' enjoyed the poem!

An Astronomy reader/complete nerd

She said burn ... together.
-TON


[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-22-2002 06:52 PM).]

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
5 posted 2002-07-22 10:35 PM


Ah, but you're my complete nerd, and awesome poet.

And even writing inspired by Radiohead, you threw in a Cure line. "Growing, growing cold"? Yeesh. Hell, isn't that straight out of Let's Go to Bed?

Love you. You turn more into Robert Smith everyday, and you've put up your Eroti-Goth the Fisherman pic. Yay! So I'll just sit an' drool for a while.

written in blood before everything went black

JCV

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-07-23 12:06 PM


Dammit, Lori! Now everyone's gonna call me Erotigoth the Fisherman. Cool.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

shadowchild458
Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 117
MN,USA
7 posted 2002-07-23 12:14 PM


lol well you just sit and drool then anvrill...by the way great poem it's very poetically written lol...duh...

life may just take a while but i guess heaven's worth the wait

AKJ

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
8 posted 2002-07-23 12:21 PM


Somehow, I doubt Erotigoth the Fisherman will catch on with anyone other than me. I mean, I'm just twisted enough, baby. Most others aren't. 'Sides, you an' the other Mike came up with it, so it's not my fault.

written in blood before everything went black

JCV

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

9 posted 2002-07-23 02:31 PM


Yes, but Mike and I are strange, twisted freaks who -- oh, ah see yr point.

Love y', babygrrl.

and for those wondering: I have a friend who is also named Mike; this ain't multiple personalities!

She said burn ... together.
-TON

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-23-2002 02:32 PM).]

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