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Dark Poetry #3
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Failed sun
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Failed sun |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Agate sparkle lost. Corona slipping back. No flare to hold this in. No flame to burn the sky. I am a failed sun. I have lost the light. No face of shine in water. No hello in your mirrors. No window warming glass. The planets will not orbit. I am a failed sun. I have lost the light. Understate collapse. Brown white ball of gas. Cannot give paths to maps. No tropics to divide. I am a failed sun. I have lost the light. Watch a candle go. That flicker in my hold. That growing, growing cold. Skypaint lost in night. I am a failed sun. I have lost the light. (inspired by listening to Radiohead ... even though the CD isn't with me at the moment  )She said burn ... together. |
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| © Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
This reads like lyrics and It don't taste like chicken (not bland) ~wranx The shortest distance between two points... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, wranx. But ah like th' taste of chicken! (but I like the taste of alligator, too) She said burn ... together. |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
the chorus and concept were not bland indeed. when suns fail, they turn into black holes and pull everything in...and you've drawn me in with this intriguing write. enjoyed. it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown [This message has been edited by MidnightSon (07-22-2002 04:06 PM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Aahh, the stuff I remember from college... The sun is too small in mass to become a black hole. It will become a red giant, then a white dwarf. I guess I'm in the red giant phase. (that's not funny)Glad y' enjoyed the poem! An Astronomy reader/complete nerd She said burn ... together. -TON [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-22-2002 06:52 PM).] |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Ah, but you're my complete nerd, and awesome poet. And even writing inspired by Radiohead, you threw in a Cure line. "Growing, growing cold"? Yeesh. Hell, isn't that straight out of Let's Go to Bed? Love you. You turn more into Robert Smith everyday, and you've put up your Eroti-Goth the Fisherman pic. Yay! So I'll just sit an' drool for a while. written in blood before everything went black |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Dammit, Lori! Now everyone's gonna call me Erotigoth the Fisherman. Cool.She said burn ... together. |
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shadowchild458 Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 117MN,USA |
lol well you just sit and drool then anvrill...by the way great poem it's very poetically written lol...duh... life may just take a while but i guess heaven's worth the wait |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Somehow, I doubt Erotigoth the Fisherman will catch on with anyone other than me. I mean, I'm just twisted enough, baby. Most others aren't. 'Sides, you an' the other Mike came up with it, so it's not my fault.written in blood before everything went black |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Yes, but Mike and I are strange, twisted freaks who -- oh, ah see yr point.  Love y', babygrrl. and for those wondering: I have a friend who is also named Mike; this ain't multiple personalities! She said burn ... together. -TON [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (07-23-2002 02:32 PM).] |
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