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Dark Poetry #3
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Encarta
Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 101
My homeland is not of the world

0 posted 2002-07-13 01:12 PM


I rewrote it and it's better than it was before, but I don't think it sounds too good, what do you think?

Alone

Here comes death
to rob his breath
It's time to die
And he knows why

Alone he lays his head to rest
Alone his dagger pierces his chest
Piercing the hole where his heart should be
Alone he lies in the new red sea

Alone his soul leaves the body
Alone it stands looking shoddy
Alone it remains for all eternity
Just as alone am I without thee

"They do not love that do not show their love.”-Shakespeare

[This message has been edited by Encarta (07-13-2002 05:29 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 James M. Hohne - All Rights Reserved
GoddessofHell
Member
since 2002-07-09
Posts 76

1 posted 2002-07-13 03:32 PM


Very nice...I enjoyed your poem very much.
Heather

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-07-13 08:49 PM


A nice, sad ache.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

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