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Dark Poetry #3
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Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now

0 posted 2002-07-10 06:26 AM


Okay, so Mike wins... For ONE poem. And if no one reads it and my point gets proven right, then Mike doesn't win n'more. Grr.




Midnight Beauty

You were dressed in your Friday night freak clothes,
Ready for a night of bustin' up bars.
You really weren't expecting her arrival,
And when she appeared
You almost fell through the floor.

She came in a swirl
Of black and red leather.
Y'd never seen a skirt like that before.
Somehow full-length was sexy
And her eyes were on fire,
Burning all your shields right down.

It was her who made the first move,
Grabbing hold of those rings
That you kept on your wrists.
Her smile said she knew how to use them.
When you asked,
She promised that that was a given
And maybe you'd find out.

On the dance floor,
To music you didn't need to hear,
Her body was your focus
And leader
And need.
Driving rhythms
Forced their way into your head,
And it felt like the world around you
Was going to implode
Or just collapse straight to hell
While you held safe
In her bare arms.

As threatening words
Were murmured and crooned
Over speakers
Turned way too high,
Her lips found yours
And you were sure that there was no need
For words anymore.
Her tongue moving in your mouth,
Spelling out more promises,
Her hands catching on the loops and straps
Of your grandest
Friday night freak clothes.

You had told all your friends
To forget the scene;
You were here for the music, after all.
To stand self-important
And maybe a bit too pretentious
In the corner
As you watched the masses around you.

Now, in the clasp
Of this fiery succubus,
None of that seemed real
And you just let it all go.
She surrounds you,
Consumes you,
And leaves you in a pile
In the middle of the dance floor.

Crawl home
In your Friday night freak clothes.
And write it all down
In your own dark journal.
Already looking forward to next Friday,
Praying for the girl
Who never told you her name.



Oh yeah... And I think this may fit my morbid rodent's whole 'dark journal' challenge. Eh. It's almost 5 in the morning (and it took a few tries to even find that button), what do you expect from me?

"Es ist Folter, aber ich bin fast dort." Robert Smith's Torture in Deutsch.

© Copyright 2002 LL Hager - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-07-10 11:56 AM


Okay, let's make it simple: READ THIS OR ANVRILL WILL GO AWAY FROM PIP FOREVER. She's feelin' dejected an' stuff. Make her welcome! Grrrrrr!

I love this poem, babygrrl. Well, that's kinda a given since ah had y' read it to me over th' phone.

Mikhail

She said burn ... together.
-TON

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
2 posted 2002-07-10 03:20 PM


You know Lori...let me start with my honest opinion of your work here...

I have found you to be a metallic gaze in this oilslick of normal round here most the time...course if you start with the patho lovey stuff (mush-mush) and stick with it...I might just do you in!! grin...

Seriously girl...you are on of a kind round here and we NEED you to stay (definantly NOT saying this for Mikey's benifit...even though he is pro'ly smilin now)

Think about it...we are a bit addicting...no??? (my feelings at stake here too!) *guilt drip*

Loved this poem too btw...now that I've given you my say...

I'm off to shek on my babe...

Hope to see ya laters girlie!!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2002-07-10 03:33 PM


Lori...dont feel dejected ... the number of replies is not a measurement a poets talent... it takes a while to get a "fan base" built up in here...this place is huge now...you have to give people time to find you..and? you have to get your name out there so they will look for you...
the only way to do that is to read and reply...and also the Dark forum moves slower than open.
Some have more time to spend here than others and with so many forums and poems... there wont ever be enough time to read all that we want to. Dont be so hard on yourself...you are a poetess...look at the
impressive imagery and detail of theme in this post...and the things you and Mike inspire in each other is awesome.
Look at it this way...youre here anyway...in every beautiful word he writes

Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much ...
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch.

J.Browne

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
4 posted 2002-07-10 08:11 PM


"her tongue moving in your mouth
   spelling out more promises"
reverie.........
oh, uh, yeah.
No. How about ONE more poem.
and then maybe a few dozen more
give or take a hundred or so....
BS.

I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles

Anvrill
Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710
in the interzone now
5 posted 2002-07-10 09:41 PM


I don't mind not many people readin', I mind no one readin'. Like my favorite, now lying buried in the depths of Dark somewhere... *pout* Of course, I had to've seen it coming; post the poem I like best, and watch as only Mikhail reads it, for the fifty millionth time since I wrote it.

Eh, I'll put up new poems, if I write. It's a random occurence, where I can get six in one day or in one year. Okay, so never that few, but still.

Thanks all. I'm currently in too much of a haze to be properly smiley or anything, and I hafta work again t'night. Augh, I needed two nights off after a six-night stint... Darn job.

"Es ist Folter, aber ich bin fast dort." Robert Smith's Torture in Deutsch.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
6 posted 2002-07-10 11:03 PM


1st. This is a great piece (the poem, I mean), It is Anvrills' best post in my ("count for nought") opinion. But that's the point. This one, is MY favorite, Anvrills' own favorite may not have been my cup of tea.
  
2nd. Anvrill will stay or Anvrill will go. Anvrills' choice. Personally, I enjoy her work and appreciate the effort that this endeavor takes.

3rd. Lori, Please stay. These people are STILL scary and bummed out

That about does it!

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do...provided it's done in private and you wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
7 posted 2002-07-10 11:07 PM


I really like the way this was written, Anvril, well done! I enjoy visualizing as I read. Post more, more, more!

and do stay!!!!

~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

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