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Dark Poetry #3
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Fearsome Plunge
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Fearsome Plunge |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Blue waters start to deteriorate Cries of change are begged for Pounds of weight are echoed in a breeze of confusion Translucent mirrors no longer bother Frail fingers begin to shake tensely Paleness invades an ignorant soul Waistline beginning to decrease with a thinning scowl Chills dribble down legs of horror Ordinary foods become poisonous to my decaying teeth Worms of infectious disease slither in and out of weakening bones Frequent visits to a man in white gives hope for cause Turning the corner with fret, I am told to take off my shoes A 5-foot machine stands with an authoritative stance I am told to step on… Breaths of anticipation whisper hopes for an increase in weight Loose Change scattered throughout pockets of lies 74 pounds, a sigh of relief exhaled 68 was the previous number from a few weeks ago Loose change becoming a stream of answers 14 years of age, standing at a measly 4 feet and 10 inches A boy lost in his own web of games A sweet tooth becomes the savior to my problems Starvation throughout the day, leads to a box full of donuts My family split in half, exchanging broken hearts Confusion amongst myself as I ponder my actions A glance into the mirror only solidifies what I already had expected A ghost without a cause A depression misplaced in a body of skinny measures This was something I was going through about 3 years ago. I have since recovered. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
Krishankins
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972Texas |
I'm glad to hear that you have overcome this pain. I love the way you have chose to write it. Thanks for sharing! Kris A bird never flies so high that it can't hit the ground |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
A demon was from within, fed by my own fears, as each day i shed the tears, come hither and join me as i reveal the ashes and bones of my past. Great write, Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.) |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
congrats on your victory and on a well penned verse. it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
A cause for celebration, let's go eat a bucket of fried chicken. ~wranx "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do...provided it's done in private and you wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hey, Tomer. I enjoyed yr poem, but the idea of drowning to yr doom is sorta offset by the drowning of adjectives in th' poem. You seem t' like to precede nouns with adjectives when y' can. While that's good in some doses, when y' go overboard, it detracts from the message -- the sheer horror -- of the drownin' poem. Still, a cool concept and I like what y' did with it. Mikey She said burn ... together. |
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